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Song Parodies -> "Crosby Cooks: Dave's Anger Flares"

Original Song Title:

"Almost Cut My Hair"

Original Performer:

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Parody Song Title:

"Crosby Cooks: Dave's Anger Flares"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

As my "Crosby Cooks" parody project moves along Dave's mood has turned rather testy - all the whining and complaining about his cooking has become a constant source of annoyance to him - and is reflected in this piece. I've decided to make the entire project into a single over-arching storyline, so this piece sets up another that has not yet been posted....that one will be up on Friday...When I'm all done I'll post a thread with all the parodies in it and the "Track Order" that I'm using to keep the storyline continuity intact - and a bit of a narrative to tie it all together...I hope...
{The spoken part before the Instrumental Intro begins, Crosby says this in a very terse manner...he is ticked.}
~ Hey, you guys, I prepared this feast with tremendous care just for you ~

{Instrumental Introduction - Tense, coiled guitar solo}

my steak's too rare"
I heard that damn Graham Nash complain
I was gettin'
kinda pissed
'Cause I've been hearing this crap
every day
I said,
"Shove it, Graham"
and he replied
"That's not a nice way
to talk now, guy"
"Big deal
stuff happens
and life is tough"

{Momentary silence except for the sound of knives and forks lightly clacking and clicking on plates, one nervous cough and quiet chewing noises}

{Then another intense Instrumental guitar solo as Crosby's inner resentment builds towards a boil.}

"This meat is really tough to chew"
Neil Young said
"Like the strings
on my guitar
Could you pass please the teriyaki?"
In raised voice I said
"That sauce clashes with wine vinegar"
And then Stephen put down
his eight beer
said, "No wonder it tasted
so weird"
I said
"Steve, why don't you
just shut up"

{Guitar solo here reflects increasingly intense pent-up anger}

Then Young said
"This steak's as tough as leather"
I glared and growled at him, "That's all in your drugged-out head there"
I said,
"You guys
can all
kiss my ass"
Then they smiled at me
and tried to laugh
Said Neil,
"You're right, Dave
that was dumb...

{Angry, Shrieking Guitar solo to fade}

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
too funny..looking forward to more of crosby's cooking adventures.. 5s
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin! Tomorrow should be a 'highlight' in the project(I hope)...not to give too much away, but things are coming to a head (actually, things are coming to a lot of "Heads") in that piece...
Adagio - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I trust your pacing. Wouldn't Dave have told them off more? I would, but that's just me. :) 5's
Adagio - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Found out that i DO know the OS after all. And your pacing was excellent, like I knew.
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Pat...well, I didn't want to get TOO crude...BUT WAIT! This saga isn't OVER yet...further developments are pending...stay tuned, the story unfolds further tomorrow! ~ ~ ~
2Eagle - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Has he tried serving kim chee with dinner yet?
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
2Eagle - Hmmm..."kim chee from Cros-by", has a ring to it...that's Korean "Cole slaw", isn't it? Thanks!
Larry Hensley - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one
Paul Robinson - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Larry ~ ~ ~
Johnny D - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL !! Paul ... AND YOU KNOW ... IT MAKES ME WONDER ... if perhaps, many years ago, you took a little ride on "The Marrakesh Express" (y'know what I mean, man!), and a part of your brain never quite came home again ... ;-)
Paul Robinson - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
JD - If only I could it me or just a dream. Thanks!

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