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Song Parodies -> "Lookin' Up My Back Door"

Original Song Title:

"Lookin' Out My Back Door"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Parody Song Title:

"Lookin' Up My Back Door"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

I'm still on parody-writing sabbatical, but Mari Duncan's wonderful recent parody of this CCR classic inspired me to take a brief sabbatical from my sabbatical and have another go at this one.
Just got home from Amsterdam
Customs got me, oh man!
Got to strip down, bend and stretch, on the floor

A rubber glove 'n K-Y
Flashlight under my thigh

Eww, eww, eww, lookin' up my back door!


There's a giant finger I feel
A fat lube-bearin' pry-deal
Crooked crawlin' crappy creature cravin' crotch-'n-thong

A customs guy is droolin'
Glist'ning spit's a-poolin'

Eww, eww, eww, lookin' up my back door!


Fingernails 'n knuckle-bones
Are playin' in my end

You'd be baked to hide
Drugs inside your moons'
Pooper-tube

Contraband they're seekin'
Just like that ancient Greekin'

Eww, eww, eww, lookin' up my back door!


(instrumental sphincterlude)


Paparazzi in a tube
Starts rectal-imagin'

Photos take a while
Now I'm cryin' "Dude,
Use more lube!"

High-colonic hassles
All by moronic assholes

Eww, eww, eww, lookin' up my back door!


If you go to Amsterdam
Keep your butt clean, oh man!
Keep them crawlin' crappy creatures 'way from bung-'n-thong

Smoke 'em while you got 'em

My broken smilin' bottom!

Eww, eww, eww, lookin' up my back door!


Fingernails 'n knuckle-bones
Are flayin' skin again

Ooo they rake the hide
Off inside my chewed
Pooper-tube

Sought ingested downies,
Butt found digested brownies

Eww, eww, eww, lookin' up my back door!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 38

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 5
 5
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 2
 1
 
 4   2
 4
 2
 
 5   32
 27
 30
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Lee O'Shea - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny... now go run lines!
Mari D - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeez, Johnny! I was about to have breakfast! I am flattered to have been an inspiration for you to... um... dig deep!
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
There's seems to be a neverending supply of proctology parodies, even if this wasn't exactly protology in the medical sense, 555 toast to that they may never END. :-)
2nz - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
So he started drooling, huh? That's... way more than any of us needed. I won't be able to eat for a while, so thanks for helping me stick to my diet. I'm glad you're already involved in theatre, you drama queen. "sabbatical from my sabbatical" my ass. This place won't let you leave, and you know it. It's got us all on choke collars for the many tournaments in the messageboards. How's your 'Rough' ordeal going anyway? And I mean your part, not your amateur colonoscopy.
Tim Mayfield - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny, nice reinterpretation, I mean NOT so nice... :-) 5's
John Barry - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice reentry job, JD. I, too, was inspired by Mari's parody and plan to inflict mine on folks tomorrow.
Phil Alexander - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, JD... it's.. er....


...at least no "wrecked 'em" gag ;-)
Ravyn Rant - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I just posted a comment on "Ecstatic in Drag" saying that it was the first parody I'd seen today, and I probably wouldn't see one better. You nearly made a liar out of me, 'cause this one's easily just as good. The wordplay, while absolutely disGUSTing, is effing brilliant. It's hard to cringe and laugh at the same time, so I gave up and just laughed. Thanks! I'm going to pick a third one at random, just to see if it puts me on the floor.
Rick D - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I told Mari that if the only result of doing a parody is to bring Johnny D back, it's effort well spent.
Adagio - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny, well this was just plain funny...I listened to it twice so far. I was going to quote lines, but the one with the guy drooling had me cringing! 5's
alvin rhodes - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
ass-stounding...5s
Steven Cavanagh - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Now there's a glamour job.
Billy Boyd - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny. 5's
Stuart McArthur - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
absolutely hilarious Johnny - Sought ingested downies, Butt found digested brownies - just one of my favourite bits - 555
Jack Wilson - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Paul Robinson - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, looks like you are ready for full-time duty here again, in spite of your protestions. First cackle-out-loud line: "Crooked crawlin' crappy creature cravin' crotch-'n-thong" Very nice anally situated alliteration...like the "hole" damn thing, but another fav was "High-colonic hassles/ All by moronic assholes" -OH, yeah, the "instrumetal sphincterlude" was also hilariously outrageous as well...and this was a nice touch towards the "end" Sought ingested downies, Butt found digested brownies"...Incredible - you sure know how to make a re-entrance, sir...I'd take my hat off to you, JD, "butt" I'm afraid you might poop in it...
John Jenkins - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
It sounds like the customs inspector should be named Inspector Rough. Well done, JD.
Johnny D - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Lee, Mari, Peter, 2nz, Tim, JB, philbo, Ravyn, Highlander, Pat, Alvin, Steve, Billy, Stuart, Jack, Paul, and JJ !
Spaff.com - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
"Dude, use more lube!" Heh heh. I KNEW this is what you were really up to. Sabbatical, my ass.
Johnny D - January 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Spaff. Butt that's not where I'm taking my sabbatical.
Bob Gomez, giving props to the Assmaster Of Them All - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Your best work since "Heave-Ho In The White Bowl"! Maybe you should go on sabbatical more often--NOT! I wonder what Colon Powell thought of this one--or John Asscroft--or Donald Bumsfelt....d;:^)
Johnny D - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Bob! ;-)
Guy - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It's their custom to be so ass-toot I rectum. Great piece JD.
Johnny D - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
GRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAANNNNNNNN thanks Guy!
Scathe - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yikes! Security's getting rough at the airports. Good thing I don't fly.
Agrimorfee - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Johnny D in fine form again. i don't think any parody writer can really go on a self-imposed "sabbatical" for too long. :)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ROFLMAO. Now I have to pay for the guy's broken wrist. It takes a real man to make himself the butt of a joke. 555
Adagio - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already commented and voted...still a good one.
Claude Prez - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow. It's like one giant misheard lyric. And so vivid. Excellent work.
Kristof Robertson - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Missed 1st time round (god knows how...) but this is yet another JD classic! Loved it, my son...555
Adam Eccleshall - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very funny, 5's
Spaff.com - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Still makes me cringe, laugh, and tense my glutes. And I just caught your Jan 13 comment. LMAO (lubing my ass out)!
Johnny D - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Scathe, Agri, Luke, Pat, Claude, Kristof, Adam, and Parody Author of The Year 2004 Spaff!
Ethan - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Perfectly writtenbut a little too gross for my taste... 544 with standard amirigt vote inflation
Michael Pacholek - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This was inspired by an unfortunate conversation. Spaff: "So, Johnny, what's your next parody gonna be about?" Johnny D: "Search me." Spaff: "Okay!" Johnny: "No, that's NOT what I meant..."
Spaff.com - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
All right, Michaelopedia, this is where the gloves come off. Heh heh.
Ash - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Once again dktos (>.<)
Johnny D - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Ethan (explanation? just curious), Michael, Spaff, and Ash.
Jeff Reuben - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--Wow...they've got some strange customs in this place =)
Stuart McArthur - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - already commented
MysteryGoat - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I feel so dirty.
Arwen - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--Hilarious...I'd honestly expect nothing less from you, JD!
2nz - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Still very clever and quite funny JD. And you never answered my question, bro.
Johnny D - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Jeff, Stuart, MysteryGoat, Arwen, and 2nz.
JANUARY 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH SILVER MEDAL - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=3855;image
2nz - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
And you STILL NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION, bro. How's the play going? Don't make me break out my 'forensics' home kit and go 'Canadian Border' security on your ass... You thought the airport was bad, you haven't taken a trip to Canada lately.
Johnny D - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Hi 2nz ... The play was a success! www.concordplayers.org , scroll down, click on "Angel Street" to see funny pictures.
Jim - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
it's Freaking Funny can you download these anywere lmao
Troy - November 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Hahahaha good stuff mate. Sounds like a good job for John Hopoate. 555
Johnny D - January 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Belated thanks, Troy!
Agrimorfee - March 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 05) Not for family viewing, eh?
Red Ant - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(2005 SOTY) I hate to over-anal-eye(s), butt it appears that the MP3 I d/l is a wee bit shorter than this. That shituation is easily rectalfiable though; 5s.
Luke Brattoni - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 2005) Still disgustingly ingenius. Particularly like the alliteration line.
Spaff.com - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
What Paul Robinson said. The bastard stole all my favorite lines.

I can't wait for the Nashoba players to perform this, and for you to post pix on the messageboard, and...um...on second thought...
Brad J. - June 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Is Customs really that... Anal?

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