Was reading in the comic section, noshin' on some homemade s'mores,
Wishing for some new confection, had the same thing the night before.
Saw a cranky lady with a droopy brood -
She was lookin' good, table piled with food,
Anorectic, picky eaters spoil the mood.

Yiddishe Momma,
Come to my house with your fine cuisine -
Yiddishe Momma,
I'll give you my Kitchenaid machine.

Now, she's making her apfel struedel, she's rolling the dough real fine -
She's making chicken soup with noodle, soon she'll be pouring Manischewitz wine.
Mary Lou says, "Hold it! That'll rot your arteries."
"Sugar, fat and carbs is too unhealthy."
Tina, Thomas, all the rest, all agree.

Yiddishe Momma,
Your mishpodcheh are such nudniks.
Yiddishe Momma,
You can do without all those food picks.

(instrumental - accordion solo)

I know she's just a cartoon drawing, a figment of an artist's mind -
Is there a real "Momma" living - if so, could she be so kind?
Who wants to nosh on spinich on High Holy Days?
Celebrations need your recipes -
Disown those party poopers, come and live with me!

Yiddishe Momma,
You can have my Kitchenaid machine -
Yiddishe Momma,
I'm really into kosher cuisine.

Yiddishe Momma,
Your mishpocheh are such nudniks -
Yiddishe Momma,
You can do without all those food picks.
(fade out)