Oil fortune King of old D.C.
Was brushing his cat in his black limousine
On the back seat were scratches from
The marks of men whose fortune he had won

Couldn't see through the tinted glass
He said, "Home, James!" and he hit the gas
I followed him to some darkened room
He took my money, he said, "I'll be with you soon..."

Dark Cheney laughed and danced
And lit the candles one by one
Danced to his waspy music
'Til his brew was done

Dark Cheney played backgammon
'Til the clock struck on the twelve
He sold me Halliburton
Stock that screwed my wealth

He dealt two cards, a queen and a three
And mumbled some words
Like a strange dog in heat
Then he turned up a Russell-Jack
My eyes saw red but the card
Still stayed black

He said your family's pet is secretly true
To someone else who is very close to you
My advice is that you leave this place
Never come back and forget you ever saw my face

Dark Cheney laughed and danced
And lit the candles one by one
Danced to his waspy music
'Til his brew was done

Dark Cheney fibrillated
When the clock struck on the twelve
I gave his heart some voltage
That renewed his health

So I ran home and crawled in my bed
I couldn't sleep because of all the things he said
Then I remembered his strange cologne
And how I smelled it once in my own home

So I sneaked back and caught him with my dog
Laughing and kissing 'til they saw me swing that big log
The next thing I knew they played dead on the floor
Dark Cheney would never sniff my dog's butt anymore

Dark Cheney laughed and danced
And lit the candles one by one
Danced to his waspy music
'Til his brew was done

Dark Cheney played Wayne Newton
On his Bose component shelf
He told me Halliburton
Could go screw itself