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Song Parodies -> "Kerry's So Very Bitter"

Original Song Title:

"Nobody Does It Better"

Original Performer:

Carly Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Kerry's So Very Bitter"

Parody Written by:

Sarcastic Paranoid

The Lyrics

I can understand why some people were suckered into voting for old long-face--if you were still getting your news from the TV networks and you were too busy channel-surfing, you might have missed what little they did say about Kerry's sorry voting record, his treasonous activities in Vietnam and the USA, how very true all the accusations from the Swift Boat Vets really were, and how he never would sign a 180 form to release the records he pretended would clear him of their accusations. Even people who haven't weaned themselves off the old glass teat eventually figured this stuff out for themselves, though, which is probably why barely more than a quarter of our public approves of Kerry. What I do have to wonder about is the united front of stupidity Kerry and his media lackeys continue to put up, and the 26% who still believe that this emperor wannabe still has any clothes. What's wrong with you leftards anyway?
Kerry's so very bitter
As his lies are laid to rest;
Now he's wasting time at the New York Times:
His tale's failed the test.

Swift Boat Veterans have beaten him soundly;
He hates them for proving he lied.
Now, like some kind of zombie, Kerry the Commie
Keeps digging up his case that's long since died.

And Kerry's so very bitter;
This obsession just can't be good.
Someone check his wine cellars now, won't you?
Has he had more than he should?

He ought to go surfing, or maybe go skiing.
There's nothing magic about that hat.
Yeah, instead of punting, he should go duck hunting.
Why is John Kerry such a spoiled brat?

Well, Kerry's so very bitter;
One-eighties get him distressed.
If he won't dare reveal what's really true,
Fool believers--give your rants a rest!

You're all too obsessed.
Give his case a rest.
(Please, give your rants a rest!)
(Oh, give his case a rest!)
(Don't whine 'cause you're obsessed.)
(Give your dumb rants a rest.)
Give Kerry a rest.
(You're all way too obsessed...)
He has failed his test.
That not-so-magic hat, of course, is the same one Jean Francoise Kerry whipped out back in 2003. And you believe this guy? That's lame, leftards; lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, LAME!!!

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Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   8
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