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Song Parodies -> "Outdoor Spanking"

Original Song Title:

"Kung Fu Fighting"

Original Performer:

Carl Douglas

Parody Song Title:

"Outdoor Spanking"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

When I grew up on the '70s, it was fairly common to see parents spank an unruly child in public: in the grocery store, at the mall, in a parking lot, on school grounds, at a gas station, etc... until someone decided it was politically incorrect to discipline a child physically.
Oh-No-Hell-No!
Butt-whoopin'- Hello!
Sass-back-hand-blows!
Mom's-not-mellow!

(Chorus)
Parents were outdoor spanking
Those hands were fast as lightning
In fact, those brats were crying
Discipline was the right thing

Taught to be gentlemen, not to make a sound
But then they messed up
Started horsing around
Bad language, tearin' things apart
Then got caught, weren't too smart
By the collar, then the flip
Mom spanking butts, hard hits!

(Chorus)

Back then kids knew right from wrong
Mom and Pops laid into them real strong
Whether by belt or swift hands
You knew your butt was gettin' tanned
In public, no one did trip
Because punishment was hip!

(Chorus)

In the backyard
Stop-Ma-Stop-Ma!
In the grocery store
Stop-Ma-Stop-Ma!
In the parking lot
Stop-Ma-Stop-Ma!
Hot bottoms, hot bottoms, hot bottoms!
Love was tough

(Chorus)

Outdoor spanking had an approval rating!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   2
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User Comments

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Peter Andersson - April 18, 2016 - Report this comment
I'll have to paddle your bum with a 4 for not doing more with the chorus - not always necessary of course, but here it's the best part of the song and a treat to work with! See:

Parents were hands-on spanking
Bad kids deserved a cranking
In fact, they needed hard discipling
Those today's too soft on offspring
Rob Arndt - April 18, 2016 - Report this comment
Peter, I agree but in this case "outdoor spanking" doesn't carry the same weight as "kung fu fighting!" Another variation might be "Indoor Plumbing!" Think about it ;-)
Rob Arndt - April 18, 2016 - Report this comment
Btw, '70s and '80s songs (ESP pop) are notorious for 3-5 verses and endlessly repeating choruses for 3-4 minute songs!
Jonathan - April 18, 2016 - Report this comment
I know I'm channeling Ace Ventura a bit here but "Spank You Very Much" for writing this! I'm sick of how PC we've become that a simple spanking is considered "child abuse" there IS a difference between discipline and outright abuse ya know? also kind of funny how you dread spankings as a kid but as you get older that attitude completely changes huh? 455
Peter Andersson - April 18, 2016 - Report this comment
How about "In-Air Fueling"? I know it's technically "refueling", but you're on to something pointing out that the hard syllables carry a special weight here.
Rob Arndt - April 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Good idea, Peter, but not much German material to use. Nazis used towed gliders to refuel fighters and then Ju-290 tankers as experimental for the Amerika Bomber. Hanna Reitsch helped pioneer with the gliders under Fieseler. Junkers still exists as EFW (Elbe Flugzeugwerke), part of EADS. They converted Airbus frames into Luftwaffe tankers, offered to build bombers again, but Germany has no requirement...

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