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Song Parodies -> "Cramps Like This"

Original Song Title:

"Born to Run"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Cramps Like This"

Parody Written by:

Rick Cormier and Andrea Henry

The Lyrics

This parody was the brainchild of Andrea Henry, a very talented Boston comic friend of mine. She was out jogging, when 'Born to Run' started playing on her mp3 player. She sent me a copy of the parody she had written but, while she is an excellent writer, she had no idea about the timing needed to pull off a parody smoothly, especially one that will be recorded. Her first line had about 15 syllables in it, while Springsteen's original line had 20. We collaborated back and forth, exchanging ideas, until we agreed upon this result. Anyone here who knows me, knows that I'm a stickler for pacing and, this piece does not match the pacing of the original so, I don't expect high marks for pacing. Hopefully, you will appreciate some of the rhymes to the original lyric though.
Yesterday at breakfast, I got some eggs

They were smothered in American cheese

At lunch we dined on Mexican gourmet, yeah gooey fried cuisine



Sprung from my belt on highway 9

Chalupa ingested, I been eatin’ way over the line. Oh

Dinner’s Chinese buffet was just a snack

It’s a grease trap, I shouldn’t have had that frappe

Man, something wicked this way comes

Because with cramps like this, babe I’m gonna get the runs



Oh girl, I feel it



Bathroom let me in, I thought food was my friend

Now I got gastric pains and visions

Just wrap my legs around this porcelain rim

God please help my small intestine!



If I could only end this crap,

I just heard a pop!

Sweat pourin’ off of my back

God, the odor in the bathroom is dire!

And, baby I’m just a scared toilet writer

You don’t wanna know how it feels

I know that chili wasn’t mild

But I don’t believe in missing meals



Somebody help me!



Rushed to the ER palace, many hours blown

Nurse screams for my insurance card

My groans draw stares, as she comes nearer

And boy my stomach is rock-hard!



The inducement starts in my deepest parts

I’m befuddled, out of reach, in a mist

Gonna try, once I’m mended, to start eatin’ right

If I ever get through this



HA! WANT TO EAT MORE!



Doctors and nurses spray air freshener in a last-ditch flowered try

Everybody’s out on the run, smells so bad, there’s no safe place to hide

It’s never ending, I’ll fight with the gas

Until the doctors can get my ass under control. Oh



Someday soon, like tonight at 10, at that Indian place

Where we really want to go, I know I’ll eat a ton

But till then cramps won’t quit

Baby, now I got the runs

Uh, Oh! Uh, Oh! (minor accidents)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   0
 0
 0
 

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