Well, heads up tonight, trouble in the rest home
Got a deadly emission comin' out my drop zone
I'm caught in a mess pile that I don't understand
But there's one thing I know for sure nurse
I don't give a damn--for no bingo bimbo scene baby I don't give a damn
I just want my butt clean
Honey I want it changed it's gonna stain I want it changed right now

Talk about a stink!
Try to clench your bowel
You wake up in the night
with a stench so foul
You spend your life waitin' for a cleanup that just won't come
Well don't waste your time waitin'

Bedpans--you gotta use em where you lay
Get a clean one under there; take a stinky one away
Keep pushin' like you're on the stool til that bedpan is completely full

Workin' on my wheels, til I get my nap earned
Workin' on my meals, til I get my crap churned
Baby I got my crap churned real good right now
You better get a towel baby
Doctor points to the nurse,
nurse then points to the aide,
The aide would wipe my butt but I guess she's too afraid
I had a blowout tonight, don't wanna find out what I got

Well, I believe in the drugs that you gave me
I believe in the nurse that will shave me
I believe in the aides and I pray that sometime they may raise me
Above these bedpans--you gotta use 'em where you lay
Get a clean one under there, take a stinky one away
Keep pushin' like you're on the stool til that bedpan is completely full

For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
That peeing in bed is not undignified
I wanna find one nurse, that ain't lookin' busy
'fore the dam does burst, I wanna whizz in the face of these
Bedpans--you gotta use 'em where you lay
Get a clean one under there, take a stinky one away
Keep pushin' like you're on the stool til that bedpan is completely full
wo wo wo wo
Bedpans
wo wo baby
Bedpans.......