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Song Parodies -> "The Politically-Correct Christmas Song"

Original Song Title:

"I Don't Like Mondays"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Boomtown Rats

Parody Song Title:

"The Politically-Correct Christmas Song"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

It hit me just the other day: I haven't done a Christmas parody song yet! And since everyone else is doing such sterling work in that field I thought I'd join in the fun. So, in true grumpy old woman stylee, this one is about how ridiculously politically-correct we all have to be now around the subject of Christmas (or 'The Holiday Season,' as a lot of kid's TV programmes are starting to refer to it.) Is it this bad in the US too?

And here's a link to the OS.
December the twenty-fifth’s here again, but let us make no bones
Its name’s so politically incorrect with its religious overtones
I know you don’t understand it, but we don’t care ‘cause it’s not your call
And we can see no reason for ‘The C-Word Season’
To be ‘The C-Word Season’ at all… ohhh, oh-oh ohhhh….

(Can’t say that!) Stuffed and Bloat-ed Day?
(Can’t say that!) Fat Bloke In Red Day?
(Can’t say that!) Out Of Our Heads Day?
Whatever do….. oooh-ooh ooooohhh, ooooohhh, ooooooohhhh……
We call it now?

Now my little dude’s in such a mood, bless his heart he is only five
So his Nintendo’s locked and parental blocked ‘cause he’s far too young to drive, Mario!
No display on the tree today, stars are anti-Jewish, fairies anti-gay*
There should be no reason for ‘The C-Word Season’
To ever be that way… nooo waa-aa-aay…

(Can’t say that!) Eat Too Much Food Day?
(Can’t say that!) Old Family Feud Day?
(Can’t say that!) One Big Bad Mood Day?
Whatever do….. oooh-ooh ooooohhh, ooooohhh, ooooooohhhh……
We call it now, now, now
What’s it called now?

Well all the wine’s homemade, Christmas pud’s fairtrade, the turkey was vegetarian
My kid’s been taught that he should be reporting every red-suited, fat, white-hairy man
I really hope our Queenie keeps it nice and clean-y
When she has to make her speech at three
Because there is no reason in ‘The C-Word Season’
To ever be so un-PC…. eee, ee-ee-eeee!

(Can’t say that!) It’s Peace on Earth Day
(Can’t say that!) Jesus’s birthday
(Can’t say that!) Eat Too Much, I’ve got Such… Expanding Girth Day
(Can’t say that!) Let’s Switch On… A Romcom…. With Colin Firth Day
(Can’t say that!) For what it’s worth, hey
What do you say? Call it Christmas Day -
And… stop… the… row?
*Sadly, this is COMPLETELY TRUE. As explained to me by a helpful shop assistant when I went to buy a decoration for the top of my Christmas tree and his was about the tenth shop to not stock any at all. Prejudice is wrong. Of course it is. But... looking for prejudice where there is none? How does that help?

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