Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Billy Don't Be A Pitchman"

Original Song Title:

"Billy Don't Be A Hero"

Original Performer:

Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods

Parody Song Title:

"Billy Don't Be A Pitchman"

Parody Written by:

blackjack21

The Lyrics

Billy Mays was a prominent TV pitchman with a loud in-your-face style that was somewhat annoying to many people. Well, he could have spared us all that annoyance if he had just listened to Mama Mays, a soft-spoken woman with a great deal of pride. Rumor has it she never wanted him to follow the pitchman path, but would have preferred he do something nice like be a teacher or a dentist. But that's just what I've heard. ;-) Like many others of late, he died much too young. R.I.P. Billy.
Billy Don't Be A Pitchman

The shouting man awoke me from slumber
His yelling grated on my mind
He tells me that I need to buy Zorbeez
It only costs nine ninety nine
I thought of little Billy's mama
Her words to him were very plain
But now she must have been so down hearted
The little guy was just too vain

Billy, don't be a pitchman, don't sell a tool or a knife
Billy, don't be a pitchman, do something nice with your life
And as he started to go, she said Billy keep your voice low-o-oh
Billy, don't be a pitchman, stay off TV

He likes to use the in-your-face sales pitch
He sometimes sounds just like a cow
The loudmouth cried you've got to have Orange-Glo
You've got to have this product now
Your stain will disappear in seconds
And it will cost you less than ten
And don't forget to buy Mighty Mend-it
Ignored the words his mama said

She said
Billy, don't be a pitchman, don't sell a tool or a knife
Billy, don't be a pitchman, do something nice with your life
And as he started to go, she said Billy keep your voice low-o-oh
Billy, don't be a pitchman, stay off TV

I heard his mama caught him on TV
She saw what Billy sold that day
She looked upon the new Grater Plater
She thought it looked a little gay
I heard she disowned Billy that day...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John A. Barry - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
"Annoying"? Understatement of the day. Good parody.
DJ Blaze - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
R.I.P. Billy Mays. He will be missed.... 555s. I've thought about doing a tribute to Billy Mays to the tune of "StarFire" by DragonForce, which is an 80s-esque power ballad. Guess you beat me to the punch.
Mark Scotti - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
This song was made for this!!! Great job, and for only $5.55 a parody...
Michael Pacholek - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
This might be a little disrespectful, but I think even Billy would think it was funny. He took his products seriously, but not himself. I think he'd be okay with it.
Cody Slusher - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
I like Billy Mays. I can immate him well.
AFW - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny tributing
blackjack21 - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks: John A. Barry, DJ Blaze, Mark Scotti, Michael Pacholek, Cody Slusher and AFW!

Can't say that I liked Billy Mays, but I can't really say I disliked him either. A very interesting character.
alvin - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
nice tribute
Andria - July 07, 2009 - Report this comment
I liked Billy Mays, but the useless crap he sold on TV didn't do much for me. (With the exceptions of Orange-Glo and OxiClean.) In my opinion, if you want an overweight, middle-aged, loud, unpretentious spokesperson for your products, you can't go wrong with Diane Amos (better known as the Pine-Sol Lady). 5s.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/bodonaldsontheheywoods8.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 671