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Song Parodies -> "Cleaning Cosmic Clutter for Bright Dudes"

Original Song Title:

"Night Moves"

Original Performer:

Bob Seger

Parody Song Title:

"Cleaning Cosmic Clutter for Bright Dudes"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

a little change of "space" for me here with this number...sure hope I got all the "Science" stuff right - I imagine I will hear about it if I didn't...
I was a little too dense
Didn't know about stars
Mostly I hung out in bars
I was a lackey working with real bright guys
Who spent all their time studying the skies
They were real bright guys

Talking about space and where the stars go dark
Discussing theories and strange things like quarks
Complicated theories they tried to prove
Talking 'bout how light moves
And looking at me like I was a stooge
who should be shining their shoes
would tip me a dime
Ooh, then I'd sweep up at nine

They studied space; got knowledge from it
Sometimes predicted when asteroids would plummet
They were exact and were really precise
Studying the sky
They would plot the planets every chance they could
Uranus, Jupiter, Mars and Venus, too
Looked beyond where I could see
up in the air
I was scratching my hair

Studying how light moves
Calculating EMC squared, too
Always got it right; true
Got it right each time
Yeah, sure got it right, yeah, right each time

Black Hole; they wondered
Could light last there?
"And just what caused it?", they muttered
Was it Cosmic Clutter?

I spoke last night to the Project Funder
"Bet this costs a tidy bundle"
Said "Sonny, not much more than a billion or two"
I said, "That's some money there, dude "
He looked at me, said, "Son, you don't have a clue"
Thought that line was real rude
Implying I was dim...

(Pause - sound of slide rules clicking)

Ooh, Bright Dudes...
(Bright dudes) Yeah, bright dudes
(Bright dudes) Mensa members, those bright dudes
(Bright dudes) Aww, they were bright dudes
(Bright dudes) Knew about speed of light; true
(Bright dudes) Mensa members, wore suspenders, pen protectors....
(Bright dudes) Clickin' and pointin'
(Bright dudes) Clickin' and pointin', yeah
(Bright dudes) Clickin' and pointin' and tryin' to disprove
(Bright dudes) Mensa members
(Bright dudes) wearin' suspenders
(Bright dudes) and pocket protectors
(Bright dudes) Mensa members, with suspenders, and protectors

(Repeat above lines out to Fade)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
a wonderful combination of intelligence and humor...5s plus
Paul Robinson - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Hyuck, that's me, alvin...Shucks, t'wern't nuthin'...
Rick C - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant star parody, Paul. And I thought you were burnt out. (JK) :-)
Michael Pacholek - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, good, I got here before the obvious joke was used: FAR OUT!
Adagio - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one, Paul. :) I like your description of how they're looking down their noses at the poor guy. 5's
AFW - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Very illuminating...555 candle power
Paul Robinson - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick C - just a little singed around the edges...for now, anyway. Michael, glad you were finally able to launch the first obvious pun on this one...Thanks, Pat...yeah, you know how those really "Bright Dudes" can be sometimes...AFW, I did have to do a little "light" reading on a couple items here to make sure I wasn't coming off like that character's assistant...
Johnny D - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
My wife majored in astronomy at M.I.T. She's my shining star.
Paul Robinson - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Astronomy, JD? Wow! That knocks my lights out...say, what sign is she? lol...HEY! Got a couple more from this album project that I am posting for tomorrow...OS's used: "Teach Your Children" and "Country Girl Medley"...don't miss them, I think you will enjoy ~ ~ ~
Michael Pacholek - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny D: You might appreciate this. Johnny C was once described by Eddie Mac as "A man with a B.A. from N.Y.U., an M.A. from U.C.L.A., a Ph.D. from M.I.T., and a B-L-T from WWII! Ladies and gentlemen, Professor John W. Carson!"

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