Festivus! Gather ‘round the cheap pole! Oh yeah!

If the Christmas has got ya down (tell me why?)
There’s no Wii in sight
And Hanukkah gives you big frown (don’t buy!)
Avoid the shopping fright
There be presents none – all right – at this extravaganza
There’s no gift bonanza (tell me why?)
All praise good Frank Constanza

Festivus! All right! Gather ‘round the cheap pole!
Oh yeah! Ooooh yeah! All night!
Festivus! Stand around the cheap pole! Oh yeah!

Yeah yeah yeah, well
On December, the Twenty-Third
Air your Grievances - all of them will be heard
Say you hate your girlfriend
Say you hate your mom
Say how they did you wrong
And how you hate your crappy job

(drink some more) Festivus! Gather ‘round the cheap pole. Oh yeah
(gather ‘round the cheap pole) I got a lot of problems with you!
(stand around the cheap pole) You all disappoint me!
(gather ‘round the cheap pole) I got a lot of problems with you!
(stand around the cheap pole) You all disappoint me!
Gather ‘round the cheap pole!


Festivus, all night! Ooooh, ooooh.
Gather ‘round the cheap pole
Festivus!
Festivus, (for the)
Rest of us! (no bagel, no)
Festivus!
Festivus! (oh yeaaaaaah)
Festivus!
Festivus! (for the)
Rest of us!

Screw! You! Screw! You! Screw! You!

Now is the time for Feats of Strength
You must improvise, and go to any length
Wrestle head of household
Wrestle with the host
The wrestling will go on
Until someone has pinned the man

Festivus, all night! Gather ‘round the cheap pole!
Festivus! Stand around the cheap pole!
Gather ‘round the cheap pole!
Stand around the cheap pole!
Gather ‘round the cheap pole!
Stand around the cheap pole!

Screw! You! Screw! You! Screw! You! Boo!

There is no decoration
Pole must be pristine
Tinsel cause distraction
Lusterless but clean

Festivus, all night, all night
Gather ‘round the cheap pole! Oh yeah!
Festivus! Stand around the cheap pole!

Gather ‘round the cheap pole!
Stand around the cheap pole!
...
(and so on)