Excrement! Movement of da bowel! Oooh yeah
……
When ya belly be rumblin’ round {tell me why?}
And you not feel right (ha ha ha ha ha)
From de last plate of egg foo yong (oh my)
Noise it make not polite
It will surely pass – all right – tru de paths of digestion
You take my suggestion {on the sly}
Trot to a bathroom session

{Excrement!} Dat’s ripe! {Movement of da bowel}
Oh yeah, uhnnnnn yeah! Den wipe
{Excrement! Movement of da bowel}

Yeah yeah yeah, well
Unh! I hear de cries, {da sounds within}
Dat was not too wise {bad foods not forgivin’} Unh!
Now de mud be flowin’ {Unh!}
And you feelin’ glum
Ya hope it flush on down
And no damage your prostrate gland

ooh me sore, {Excrement! Movement of da bowel} Hrrn, yeah
{Movement of da bowel} Give me another roll o’ paper
{Movement of da bowel} Need some Kaopectate!
{Movement of da bowel} My eyes dey water from da vapor
{Movement of da bowel} And me butt, how it ache!
{Movement of da bowel}

{Excrement} Bad sight! Oooooooh, HOOOOH!
{Movement of da bowel} Oh yeah!
{Excrement!}
{Excrement!} My plight!
{Excrement!} Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
{Excrement!}
{Excrement!} oh ga-aw-aw-awd
{Excrement!}
{Excrement!} sit tight
{Excrement} (various grunting noises)

Bowel! Move! Bowel! Move! Bowel! Move!

To my surprise, and my chagrin
Paper’s just one ply! My hell just beginnin’
Now somebody crowing
How long till you done!
Me going fast as can, ya’ll
And no I do not need a hand.

{Excrement!} All night! {Movement of da bowel}
{Excrement! Movement of da bowel}
{Movement of da bowel} (x4)
Bowel! Move! Bowel! Move! Bowel! Move! HOOOH!

Da medical expression
For da way I be
Please use some discretion
I got die-ah-ree

{Excrement!} Toxic waste site!
{Movement of da bowel!} Oh yeah!
{Excrement! Movement of da bowel}
Oh ow ow ow ow

Movement of da bowel!
Movement of da bowel!
{And repeat, with strained grunting in background}