I ate the sheriff
But I didn't eat no deputy,
I ate the sheriff
But I didn't eat no deputy

It'd been so long since I had lunch
Just needed something good to munch
The sheriff was quite enough to fill me;
But they say I'm guilty
That I ate the deputy
But I say:

I ate the sheriff
In my hunger it made perfect sense
I ate the sheriff
And they say it is a capital offence

It was past three and I was so hungry
My money: t'was all gone
Then I turned a bend and what'd I see
But the sheriff; and then I knew
Exactly what I had to do
And so:

I ate the sheriff
Human flesh is underrated, yeah
I say: I ate the sheriff
And that's all I ate that day, I swear;

I said, "Hello, sheriff," when we met
"Could I have you o'er for tea?"
He said, "Sure; who else is coming?"
I said, "Nobody; it's just me-"
So I took out my knife and my fork and I say:
(I was just really hungry, okay?)

I ate the sheriff
But I didn't eat no deputy
I ate the sheriff
And that meal was quite enough for me;

Sure, the deputy came by to watch
He trembled as I had my chow
So I thought I'd have him for dinner, and
He's locked in my freezer now;
You see:

I ate the sheriff
But the deputy was for tonight
I ate the sheriff
But the deputy is still all right

(fade out)