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Song Parodies -> "Here Comes The Story Of The Hurricane"

Original Song Title:

"Hurricane"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Here Comes The Story Of The Hurricane"

Parody Written by:

Mister Snitch

The Lyrics

Cop alarms ring out in the bayou night
Enter Raymond Nagin from the City Hall.
He sees New Orleans washed away in the flood,
Cries out, "My God, Bush killed them all!"
Here comes the story of the Hurricane,
Now watch the authorities try to blame
Each other, for what they should have done.
It's Hiroshima now, but one time it could-a been
The crossroads of the world.

Five hundred buses? There! Can't Nagin see?
And there's the Governor, Blanco, movin' around mysteriously.
"They're all flooded," Ray says, and he throws up his hands
"And I couldn't find no drivers, I hope you understand.
I need some help here," he says, and he stops
"Where the hell are those damn Federal cops?"
And so Blanco calls the Feds
And they arrive on the scene - later - they wade in, a-splashin'
In the hot New Orleans night.

Meanwhile, far away in a whole 'nother state
George Bush is on vacation, this disaster will have to wait.
Enjoying all the perks of a President's crown
Had no idea what kinda shit was about to go down
When an aide pulled him over to the side of the room
Just like that time the World Trade Center was doomed.
When you're President, that's the way things go.
You want five weeks vacation, don't show
Up for the job, 'less you want to rouse a mob.

Michael Brown had the contacts and he had a rap for the Prez.
Him and Michael Cherkoff would quickly get FEMA into town
He said, "We'll hit the ground runnin', as good bureaucrats do,
We know how to spring to action, we learned it from you!"
And Kathleen Babineaux Blanco just nodded her head.
The Mayor said, "Get going, I see thousands dead."
So they sent folks to the Superdome
And though it hardly felt like home
They told them that they'd be safe there 'til some help arrived.

Two days have passed now, and it's all hit the fan,
Folks waitin' in the Superdome are all out of hand.
The media looks out through its cynical eye
Says, "Wha'd you bring them there for? They're all gonna die!"
Yes, here's the story of the Hurricane,
And how the authorities chose to blame
Each other, for what they shoulda done.
It's a toxic waste dump, but one time it would-a been
The Mardi-Gras of the world.

One week later, and careers are aflame,
Brown's back in Washington, fightin' for his name
While Kathleen Babineaux Blanco's still in the politics game
And Nagin's out puttin' the screws to her,
lookin' for somebody to blame.
"Remember the night Katrina first touched down?"
"Remember when you told Bush to rush into town?"
"You think you'd like to play ball with me now?"
"Think it might-a been Bush who was too slow - us or them?
Don't forget that you're a Dem!"

Kathleen Babineaux Blanco said, "I need a day off."
Nagin said, "A poor state like ours could use a break
We play this right, we'll write our ticket, we'll break the Federal Reserve
No Democrat will dare vote down funding, they just won't have the nerve!
We'll be doin' society a favor.
That sonofabitch is brave and gettin' braver.
We want to drive his polling down
Everybody knows he's just a clown, the press
Is gonna revel in this mess."

Katrina took the town out with just one punch
But the press didn't like that story line all that much.
"It's our job", they said, "and we do it for pay."
"It's nothing personal, we just want the last say."
"Someone must pay the price
Maybe someone who hasn't treated us nice
And shown us the respect we're due.
Yeah, Bush and Rove are gonna rue, twice
over, turning media men into mice."

This Times' story could've been seen in advance
The media fell in line, there was no other chance.
They made Bush out to be a callous Nero in Rome
Who didn't care that thousands now had no place they could call home.
And to the black folks he was just a rich white guy.
No one doubted he had reasons to lie.
And though the locals should have borne more blame,
The press somehow left their names off the deed
And Democratic pundits agreed!

Katrina was everyone's fault.
Now all but the homeless are bound for the vault.
Builders and power brokers hold out their hand
Budget deficit? Hey, you just gotta understand:
Only Nazis ask about price
And pinching pennies don't look nice
When the headlines show pain and grief
We gotta be seen with the relief. Cutting costs else-
where - that's another day's game.

Now all the politicians in their coats and ties
Are free to drink tequila and spin some more lies
While shattered souls move on to start their lives again
And next time? Same deal all over again!
That's the story of the Hurricane,
Another fine product of the media game
So farewell to old New Orleans
Now it's called Atlantis, but one time it could-a been
The mecca of the world.
The complete history of Hurricane Katrina, in song form. copyright Mister Snitch Bonus: The original post contains links to Katrina events within the song.

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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CryHavoc - April 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Katrina and the Waves? :) Nagin and Blanco had too much Red Wine and Whiskey....

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