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Song Parodies -> "I Think Therefore I Am"

Original Song Title:

"Simple Twist of Fate"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"I Think Therefore I Am"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

(guitar intro)


That French philosopher Descartes
Listened to his pounding heart
He thought a bit and he felt a spark
Tingle in his spine

'Twas then he coined the line

From which
His fame be-gan

That pompous line --

"I think, there-fore I am!"



They walked along drinkin' rum an' coke
A little confused, they remembered jokes
And passed around a joint for tokes
In a roach-clip burnin' bright

They drank whiskey through the night

Before
The big ex-am

Then they cried --

"I drink, there-fore I cram!"



A hurricane someplace far off blew
As he was workin' wind-jammer's crew
As the tide bust through a big gust threw
His sailboat upside down

He dropped into the sea to drown

But he was a
Stubborn man

And he shouted out --

"I sink, there-fore I swam!"



(harmonica & guitar instrumental)



He walked up, her back was bare
He didn't see hair anywhere
He told himself he'd charm her there
Push in-to her open thighs

Felt a gassiness inside

Blew wicked gust-ings from his can

Coughed and cried --

"I stink, there-fore I scram!"



He hears the ticking of the bomb
And works along with a careful aplomb
Shuts it down with a wonderful calm
'Til the timer's stopped its spin

Maybe it's ticking loud again

He's a
Worried man

His last thought --

"I think, there-fore I--" BLAM!!



People tell me
I'm a fool

To waste what I
Did learn in school

I still believe that this is cool
Writing parodies

I'll write more of these

'Cause I
Was born a man

Whose motto's --

"I think, there-fore I can!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   14
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Hehe.... "I think, there-fore I--" BLAM!! 5's
alvin rhodes - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
i read...therefore i laughed...5s
Know 1 can hear you dream - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Johnny D - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Heh heh, thanks Pat, Alvin, and Peter!

Hmm... I sense a pattern developing in the comments on this parody....
John Barry - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Some fine rhyming work here. Nice.
Stuart McArthur - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
very witty - calls to mind that witty recent commentator, "The Philosophers Stoned" Johnny ;-) great idea - 555

btw, I couldn't get onto your parody yesterday - the URL was wrong - I'll check it out now
Johnny D - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, JB, and thanks, Stuart. Yes, I confess, I am indeed "The Philosopher Stoned" who posted that silly little Cartesian comment the other day:

" Would you care for some tea, Monsieur Descartes? "

" I think not ... "

And with that, Rene Descartes vanished.
Rick D - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
The really good ones I go tell Mari to read...Like this one
John Jenkins - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
If you're a fool, what does that make the rest of us? Anyway, this parody has excellent humor in a clever context.
Kristof Robertson - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Another JD classic....niiiice...555
Johnny D - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Rick, JJ, and Kristof.
Kristof Robertson - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM)Gee, it only seems like February 2nd since I last read this.:-). Of course you know how fine this is, JD; I don't need to tell ya!
Guy - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Amazing.
Charlie Decker - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
555+. I love the OS, and your lyrics are amazing as usual. Fantastic job!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Glorious! Love all the various variations. 555
Scathe - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) Don't ever stop that twisted mind of yours from thinking.
Johnny D - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Kristof, Guy, Charlie, Luke, and Scathe.
Adagio - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already voted and commented...still wacky.
Spaff.com - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Lovely, witty, punny stuff, Johnny DD. My fave verse is the "ticking of the bomb" one. Heh heh. And, off the subject, but I've noticed that many of your parodies have a lot of extra line breaks - is that due to the word processing program you write them in? After nearly two years, I'm still trying to get the hang of which characters/commands work and which ones don't. Anyhoo. Great work.
Johnny D - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Pat and Spaff. Spaff, I write my parodies in a plain ASCII text editor, and I just hit enter to make the paragraph-breaks. I like to be generous with my use of line-breaks, since I try to use them as a form of implied quasi-musical notation to signify changes in rhythm and tempo that align with those of the original song.
Rex - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Eye pink, therefore eye ran! Funny stuff.
Jeff Reuben - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very well done, loved the Drink Therefore I Cram, and it only got better from there.
Arwen - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--excellent job, Mr. D!
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm - everything I said before - another inspired idea JD
Claude Prez - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Very clever. Excellent work.
Johnny D - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Rex, Jeff, Arwen, Stuart, and Claude.
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I vote, therefore, you win? great one
Johnny D - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Jordan.
2nz - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn, DKTOS. Reads very well and witty, though. Actually, I don't think I ever commended you on that. You are very good at entering your parodies when you submit them such that they are easy to read for your audience. Back in the day when I was writing more, I based my spacing of certain songs on parodies that you wrote. I know I did for 'Bohemian...' at least. So I guess, thanks for keepin' it real... and legible man.
Johnny D - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks 2nz!
Tim Mayfield - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant!
Johnny D - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Tim.

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