Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Monistat"

Original Song Title:

"I Can Help"

Original Performer:

Billy Swan

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I haven't been able to get online lately because I have been playing music 5 nights a week and working a 40 hour week. As an acoustical soloist, I now and then slip in a comedy and parody song act by various artists like Bob and Tom, John Valby, Rodney Carrington and Am I Right artists. (hope ya'll don't mind). After singing songs like Dear P*nis, Camel Toe, Syphylis, and Viagra, believe it or not some regular ladies asked me to write a song about Monistat. Trying not to be vulgar here is what I have to offer them.

If you got a problem, Candidiasis
If ya need relief, for that odorless fungus
In just seven days
If you got cottage cheese, in your tight jeans

It aint easy being cheesy, hubby’s b*ll's be turning blue
Your lips are red and swollen, your cootchie itches too
There’s a one day treatment
He might do you Greek, if he waits a week

Many home remedies, your beaver might think it bizarre
Tampons in yogurt, apple cider vinegar,
Garlic too

Don’t forget we love you. On the rag or during yeast
We can handle ketchup, not fur burgers with cheese
Sour cream on your taco
If there’s philly on your muffin, then you get no stuffin

Many home remedies, you just might feel like a fool
Potassium sorbate, and a boric acid capsule,
Stuffed up you

Don’t forget we love you. On the rag or during yeast
We can handle red wings, not furburgers with cheese
Sour cream on your taco
If there’s philly on your muffin, then you get no stuffin
Gonna have to bl*w me, I don’t want no cheese
On my big Mac

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Go yeast, young man, go yeast....very clever work, here
Red Ant - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Indeed, very clever, and very nauseating. If there's ever a gross out 3 competition, this would be a great entry. 545.
Tommy Turtle - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
This kind of gross is OK by me, esp. with clever lines like 'Greek' and the rag/yeast/furburger/cheese. Very graphic descriptions. 555.... oh, and if ya sing something that's posted here, hope you're giving appropriate credit... and if ya get paid for it, uh, (cough) law and courtesy call for sharing with the writer... anyone who doesn't is a douchebag... oops -- new parody topic for you....
crazy8snake - August 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the reviews, I've missed being around here. Tommy you may be happy, (or unhappy), to know that I have not used one of your parodies as of yet, and I always give appropriate credit to the writer of any song I play. I also want to thank you for the new topic idea. I'm, sorry if ya think I'm a douche, but i don't get paid to play "your song" ( but I was thinking of using, "Got a Tampon ", by Tommy Turtle), I get paid to entertain for 3 hrs, but if ya send me your address and if I ever use your song I'll send you your 5 cent royalty once a week. Ooooops!!! Minus postage you owe me 30 cents a week to play your song.
TT - August 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Giving writer's name and URL is cool... if you're only getting a ten or twenty here and there, cool, but if/when it starts totalling triple digits, a few bucks to those who make it possible is a nice gesture.... At 5 cents a week, you can wait 20 weeks and send a dollar, and the postage comes out of your pocket lol :-)
Meriadoc - August 24, 2007 - Report this comment
I LOL'd in spite of myself. I'm going to recommend this one! ;-D
Peregrin - August 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Great stuff - something to really sink your teeth into :)
Andria - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Crazy8Snake, this song is very offensive to me and probably to every other rational woman in the English-speaking world. Due to your graphic descriptions of common female illnesses, I will not vote on this song and I may not ever vote on another one of yours.
Agrimorfee - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I have NEVER read anything here that has nauseated me as much as this. I couldn't even finish halfway in. That must stand for something.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1102