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Song Parodies -> "Scenes from a Greasy Burger Joint"

Original Song Title:

"Scenes from an Italian Restaurant"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Scenes from a Greasy Burger Joint"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This is probably so far my favorite parody on my album of Fast-Food related parodies off Billy Joel's first greatest hits album. It took forever to write, but I'm really proud of the pacing and rhyming I put into it. This song is meant to be read as sort of a playwrite, with the characters and such. The parenthesis in-between verses state actions that happen, and are not actually lyrics. Sort of a new take on writing, huh?
Customer 1:
A burger on rye, and no other bread
Make sure to cook the meat, so it's not red
This is to go, don't need a seat
I just can't wait to taste
A sandwich- open faced!

Customer 2:
I wanna get fed, so gimme some fries
I'm really hungry, so make it Supersized
I hope you don't disappoint
In this greasy burger joint.

(The cook looks at the orders,
and realizes that they're short-staffed today.)

Cook: (to customers)
We are very short-staffed today
Your food's gonna take awhile, ok?
'Cause now there are fries to be fried
And grease stains to hide
You're in a rush I know,
I'm going fast as I can go
But the food'll be so good after
It gets done

(The waiter, not wanting the two
disgruntled-looking customers to
leave after realizing they have to wait awhile,
attempts to entertain them with a story)

Waiter: (to customers)
I recall one day I was working here
During lunch hour
A guy came in, had a jacket,
Shirt, and blue jeans
'Twas overweight, as if he'd had
One too many beans
He approached me
And his order he did decree:

(Flashback to one year ago,
where the Waiter's story takes place)

Customer in Waiter's story:
With hunger I'm stricken, so
Get me chicken
Make 'em nuggets to fit
In my palm
Also a burger with cheese, but
Please do leave the bacon off
Also get me some fries, but
Please no ketchup and mustard, for
Them I despise
I know that I was told not to
Eat much by my wife
But I really don't care, after
All I know that I'll survive.

(Still in the past: After hearing the
order and telling the cook, the waiter
tries to explain to the man the
dangers of eating all that)

Waiter: (1 year ago)
Sir, I believe that your wife was right
Eat that much and you'll explode like dynamite
And what good's a marriage when you
Don't take your partner's advice?
If you eat all that, you're crazy
You'll get all fat, then you'll be lazy!
Are you sure you really want to live that
Kind of life?
Don't get me wrong; I don't mind a huge
Paycheck tonight.

(The flashback ends as the Scene
returns to the present. The waiter
resumes his story, telling the 2
waiting customers what happened next)

But he ignored me and then things
Got gory
After he sat himself at a seat
A new guy came in, but I
Ignored him,
For the other guy began
to eat
Well, he started to twitch, and
Made motions which
Made it look like he'd died in
His seat.

Well I called 9-1-1, but not
Much could be done
The doc said the man had reached his end
I felt much remorse on the matter
Of course
And his funeral I did
I felt like going berserk, yet
I went back to work
I felt weird, as if I'd lost
A friend.

(Just as the waiter finishes his story,
the 2 customers orders arrive. As he pays,
the first customer sings back his response
to the waiter's sad story)

Customer 1:
That was a great story, in all
Of it's glory, if only it just wasn't true
From now on I'll show care
That I only have a small share
Of the bad-for-me foods
I'll try to avoid all
Things greasy
There will be temptation,
It won't be easy!
But I do value my life,
And I'm sure I'll get by

Customer 2:
That's it, I've heard enough,
I'm going steady!
If fact, I think I'll get
Started already
Thanks for your story, now I must
Be sayin' goodbye!

(Both customers throw their meals away,
and feel that the money they spent, even if
not on food, was worth it. The waiter
mentioned in the story continues to try
to stop people from eating at his restaurant
even if it means less money. As the scene
fades black, another customer enters,
and the story gets ready to play through
again. The customers order is heard in the distance. )

New Customer:
I wanna get fed, so gimme some fries
I'm really hungry, so make it Supersized
I hope you don't disappoint
In this greasy burger joint.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Billy Florio - July 23, 2003 - Report this comment
lebeiw15 - July 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes, very interesting... good pacing, I gave you all 5s.
Wild Man - July 23, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked how you explained your scenes, sort of like reading a script from a play. It helped me visualize your story and I applaude your creativity. I also like it when any parody artist writes an intro to a parody it helps set the tone for the reader. Very good work WHD.
Michael Pacholek - July 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Knowing how hard this one is (from "Scenes from a Chinese Restaurant, the Ballad of Ralphie and Alice," if you'll pardon the shameless plug), I had to give you a little leeway. But a little humor goes a long way, and you should be proud of your effort. But if you continue with this BJ/FF motif, please note though that, obvious though the title is, "Only the Egg Foo Young" has been done before, as someone reminded me when I tried it.
2nz - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I really like the way you handled most of the song. I gotta try this some day, just to say that I tried to parody the hardest song I've ever heard. Really good job all around. Sorry about reading it pretty late, I kinda wasn't here until November.

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