I am the Bender unit and I know what my role is
The drunken, foul-mouthed robot, who smokes all his Cubans
Today I steal your objects, tomorrow maybe more,
And I'd like to try to go rip off Fry,
And I pay back debts that I collect
From my gambling loses

I am the Bender unit and I'm sure lazy as hell
The things I did not do before, I'll do when we get back
But still they depend on me to take their cash away
So I've learned to grift and I make blame shift, and I go to sit
And watch "All My Circuits", and the crew get chewed out

I am the Bender unit, I drink Olde Fortran Ale
I buy all kinds of hookers and get a lot of tail
I don't care about people, don't care about the crew
But what the hell, you know I might as well
Hang out for a while and travel many miles
Cause the meat bags want me here

I am the Bender unit, I like to sing folk songs
I tried to go on tour with Beck, but that didn't last long
I was played like a washboard, I sang "My Broken Friend"
But then one day, I got chased away
When my legs began to work again
So I went back to New York

I am the Bender unit, I watch those cooking shows
I love to switch on Elzar, It's my favorite you know
It makes me want to cook stuff but they just don't like salt
It was a delicious meal but I really feel
They think its my fault that I use salt
So I cut it down to 10%

I am the Bender unit, a lazy bag of bolts
I steal all kinds of products when we go to Woolworth's
I like to drink hard liquor, I love to watch TV
And then I flip to "All My Circuits"
Then it's time to go and I head on home
For another can of beer

I am the Bender unit and I know what my role is
The drunken, foul-mouthed robot, who smokes all his Cubans
Today I steal your objects, tomorrow maybe more,
And I'd like to try to go rip off Fry,
And I pay back debts that I collect
From my gambling loses