-> "The Ballerini"
Original Song Title:
"The Entertainer" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
She is the Ballerini and she's everywhere, it seems;
She's just another starlet lacking music that redeems.
Tonight I saw her on T.V. and threw up in my mouth
'Cos from her very lips came a most flat "Dibs."
I know she'll get the shaft in a year and a half
And her prospects will go south.
She is the Ballerini; to be country she does claim,
But when I heard four of her songs, they all did sound the same.
Oh, that she wrote something diff'rent, like social comment'ry;
But the Floyd she ain't--any hope is most faint
That she ever will write aught that isn't so trite
That it makes my ears to bleed!
She is the Ballerini and she's known all o'er the land,
I would that radio stations asked that all her songs be banned.
And who's that schmuck on guitar? That solo is a dud.
It's the Jonas named Nick; let us bundle them quick
And ship them both right down to good old Burbank town
Where they'll fit with other crud. (1)
She is the Ballerini; I've had it with her songs
'Cos the right of more good ladies won't e'er come from twelve wrongs. (2)
No, I don't see her improving; yet I hear her playing still
On KEEY (3) as I sorrowfully sigh
For the days of old when, in letters bold,
"All-time favourites" played with skill.
She is the Ballerini; I wish she'd pirouette
To KISS-FM (4) immediately 'cos such is her best bet
If she wants to last a long time in this, the music biz.
Auto-Tune is a crutch that she uses too much
'Stead of using her voice and a-making a choice
To be a natural-vocals whiz.
She is the Ballerini and she has not a place
In my music library 'cos all available space
Has been occupied by artists who actually perform
Without pitch-correction or gruesome affections;
Alas! few are they who avoid nowadays
All the digital record norms.
She is the Ballerini and I began to fear
When "Love Me Like You Mean It" played that God just wasn't there.
I mean, why would he tolerate that such hacks would exist?
It's a pile of schlock, which has led me to mock
This fraud of a voice that is nothing but noise
And has left me truly pissed.
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
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