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Song Parodies -> "Kazoo Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Kazoo Guy"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
My adoring fans all are right here
There's a stinky old drunk sitting next to me
pitching woo to a bottle of beer

He says, "Mublah gah wah fugga nuhmuhba
Nubluh ma na shooshee foon."
Then he mumbles some more and he pukes on the floor
So I get up and play him a tune.

"Crap!" they all say, "It's that Kazoo Guy!
How did that bum get in here?
I guess he's in the mood for a beatin'
So let's shove that thing up his rear!"

Now John at the bar is a prostitute
He gives me my "drinks" for free
and he's quick with a joke,
and he's loopy for coke
and his jacket, it smells just like pee

He says, "Claude, I believe you're an *sswipe"
as he punches me right in the face
He says "You're tellin' lies 'bout the wrong f***ing guys
So I'm kickin' you out of this place."

Oh, blah blah blah bling-bling blah
Blah blah blee blah
Blah blah

Now Paul is a real dumb bastard
Who never has time for a shower
And he's "talking" with Stan who is still in the can
They'll probly be in there an hour

And the waitress is dreaming of "Hooters"
As the drug dealers all cop a feel
Yes they're sharing a ho they call Lulabelle Jo
But it's better than smackin' the veal

Get the hell out you Kazoo Guy!
Your song has already been sung
We guess you're still wantin' a beatin'
We'll shove that kazoo up your bung!

So my fans are all gathering round me
And the bouncer has picked up a bat
And I know it's my face that they want to replace
with something a little more flat

And the kazoo, it sounds just like a carnival!
If you plug up your ears and pretend!
And they beat me with sticks and they pelt me with bricks
And say, "Man, don't come back here again!"

Get lost right now you Kazoo Guy!
Get up and get out of here!
We're all in the mood to just slug you!
We'll shove that kazoo up your rear!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   2
 3   1
 4   4
 5   14

User Comments

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The Great Karlando - March 05, 2003 - Report this comment
I loved this parody...hilarious
Stray Pooch - March 06, 2003 - Report this comment
ROFL! Great stuff! It never fails to amaze me what creative craziness can inspire!! - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Omigosh I'm laughing so hard I can barely see to type this. Michael P's comments on Skee Ballin' led me to your song list, and the title of this one alone started me laughing. And then I read it....!
Michael Pacholek - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Sounds like you've been to a few bars in New Jersey. All that's missing is the five-dollar cover charge to hear some crappy band play Nirvana covers.
Matthias - December 16, 2004 - Report this comment
That was f***ing hillarious! But one thing... who's the Kazoo Guy?
Hiron Otsuki - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
*snickers* You're a pretty talented parody writer. I especially liked "The Mailman Can." I actually have a friend who plays the kazoo, and this is like his theme song. Thanks for writing it. :-P
Phil Alexander - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Caught this one 'cause of the previous comment - marvellous, Claude. As usual.
Jack Wilson - November 23, 2006 - Report this comment
THIS IS HILARIOUS! One of the best Claude Prez parodies like EVER!

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