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Song Parodies -> "RX-7 Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"RX-7 Fan"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A few observations about buying a used car and the fun that goes along with it. If you are a Car Guy or Girl, this one should ring true and maybe bring back some memories. This parody is based on a true story and conveys a lesson to be learned. As most of us can relate, when I do a pace on a song that works for me, there is always someone who says the pace is off, so I am trying something new (for me). Remember "just follow the bouncing ball, kids..)? When you see a hyphen, it is a clue as to how the phrasing of the parody follows the original. In musical notation, I believe it is known as "Stacatto". Follow your instincts and you will follow the pace. If it gets annoying, let me know. Only lines that are not obvious contain the hyphen. RX-7 fans, this is for you.
My friends, all mock-what I-drive-today
My regular car, I-brought-in
There is no one, sitting next to me
'Cause-there's-no seat-for-them-to sit in

There is one car that's still in my memory
No one's really sure how it goes
It was bad, it was sleek-and-it couldn't compete
It fish-tailed and spun down the road

My Maz da, My Maz da
Maz da, My Maz da, Maz da

Will I live long? Pick a Tarot man
Only the strong survive
Will my head be replaced by a cavity
I can't shake this feeling of fright

Now I, bought-the-car, from a friend of mine
The bill of sale was, tax-free
He-could-do-the-back-stroke, else he might-have-just croaked
As-we-slid-off-a-bridge, him-and-me

It's the bill I received that is killing me
And-the-cause, defect-in, the-crankcase
Yes I know that I should sell this f'ing car
Get-one-with a-longer wheelbase

Oh, My Maz da, My Maz da
Maz da, My Maz da, Maz da

Rainfall is-a-threat-and-it tops-the-list
It causes the car to-jack-knife
If the road is too curvy, I'll roll topsy-turvy
The-only-way-out-jaws of life

And I hate this old practice of bait-and-switch
It's how you-the-consumer gets-boned
You are sharing your ink with unholiness
When you sign off on your used-car loan

Guardrail head-on, then a panel van
Must have been quite a sight
As the ambulance pulled away hastily
They yelled "don't go into the-white-light"

It-was-shitty-was-loud, scared the cat away
The bad muffler put me on trial
When replacing-it-me, they did try to deceive
As they said "It-should-last for-a-while"

And the deathblow, it pounced like a carnivore
As a megaphone yelled "Please Stand Clear"
And I watched from afar as flames burned up my car
Nothing left but a re-tread goodyear

Oh, My Maz da, My Maz da
Maz da, My Maz da, Maz da

Made it this long, Rx7 fan
No need for those last rites
'Cause that old death trap is-in-car-heaven-man
And you're drinking heavy tonight Enjoy the Show!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Red Ant - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Where's the votes and comment on this one? Really good parody, Purrl, despite the bad luck. My wife had a Fiero which was almost exactly like the RX-7 in the story here. It lived up to the nickname "Fire Arrow" when it burned to the ground with the next owner. Rx-7s aren't bad when they are new, but higher milage ones... it's no fun to yank the spark plugs every cold morning and pour oil into the rotor housing to get the worn apex seals to seal enough to allow the car to start. The pacing was fine. 555
MrMacphisto - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm a Mazda 3 fan myself, but this is a great parody. 5 zoom zoom zooms.
Purrl - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey Red Ant!.....A man who knows what he's talking about!. The oil-bathed apex seals on the Wankel rotary engine; the only solution that made the concept work. The car even had special emission controls to compensate for the extra hydrocarbons present in the exaust due to the burning oil. How about the dual ignition coils, one for each combustion chamber? The horsepower to weight ratio allowed the car to fly on the high RPM (which red-lined at an impressive 6500 RPM ) but the short wheelbase and eccentric center of gravity made the tail of the car want to rotate about the engine compartment, hence my tale of woe. I've heard plenty of horror stories about the Fiero as well, as they recalled it due to a faulty wiring harness. They must have known that when they named the beast! Anyway, thanks for the kind words, vote and comment and you're right...Where is Everybody?!! Come one, come all and enjoy the show - - - Purrl.
Red Ant - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Good to talk cars once in a while, Purrl. Mazda did some further improvements later on so the seals lasted longer, but most any RX-7 with 100k miles is going to have starting problems due to bad sealing. The dual coils are because of the flat and broad combustion volume, which requires two sparks plugs to efficiently ignite the charge. Rotarys have a much higher potential RPM than 6500: from my understanding, the redline was set at 7k not due to mechanical stresses on the rotors and output shaft, but due to the injectors not being able to keep up, thus causing dangerous lean conditions at high rpm.

The Fiero was a POS all around. The wiring harness on ours was intermittently problematic and the car ran hot constantly. Problem is with the radiator in the front of the car and the engine in the rear, there's about 15' more hose for the water pump to work against, and it was marginal in the first place. The engine also has very little ability to cast off heat due to the tight engine compartment. Small oil volume increased problems. In 1990, every single Fiero every made was ordered recalled to fix fire hazards. Of course, countless Fieros had already bitten the dust via throwing a rod through the block or burning up (the plastic bodywork burned especially nicely). The GT 6 cylinder models weren't as bad as the 4 bangers. Even if the Fire Arrows weren't riddled with problems, Mazda's Miata would have killed it anyway.
Purrl - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, Red, definitely been a while since I've talked cars. I had the '82 RX, 101 HP automatic. '85's and later had 135 HP and fuel injection, if memory serves. That's when they started playing around with tilting the rear wheels in camber to try to reduce the fish-tailing. This car has been re-invented into new generations more than any that I am aware of. The '90's iteration was robust, but I have to admit, I know nothing about the latest Frankenstein, the RX-8. There is an '85 for sale near me and I get this feeling everytime I pass it...same feeling I got about the '82. Ya think? Well,...maybe.....just on the weekends...on sunny days
Andria - March 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Sorry I'm over a year and a half late, but I've got something to say regarding the parody and its comments: I used to own a rotary-engined Mazda pickup. It burned oil, guzzled gas and was often uncontrollable (in addition to having part of the bed eaten away around the external battery compartment on behalf of several crushed batteries caused by spinning out and hitting things, as well as in parking lots), but it was fun to drive. The cab was also quite lavishly-appointed for a 1970s compact pickup, with the bucket seats, woodgrain trim, special steering wheel, factory 8-track player and full carpeting, but everything was in poor condition due to the vehicle's age and poor condition. (I can't remember for sure, but I think it was a '73.) I finally sold it to someone who put the engine, drivetrain and suspension under a homemade race car after it sat in my backyard for some time after I got sick of breathing in exhaust fumes. The parody was excellent, and as for the thing about the Miata being a possible Fiero-killer if it had lived into the 90s, don't forget the Toyota MR2, the Honda DelSol, BMW Z3 and (outside of the US and Canadian markets) the Fiat Barchetta and MGF. Between those five, the Fiero would certainly be a goner. 5s.
cats - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Cats - September 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow. I just read it over and the logics of it just pin-pointed my head. I have to give it to you man. It's pretty D*** good. You should give me some advice on how to make it that funny. I am sure you can do that with alot of skill.

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