((long instrumental interlude))

From an institute known only as Gizmonic
Rode a gang made of four 'bots and one man
And their war on celluloid
Made them quite well-liked and enjoyed
East and west of the Rio Grande

Well, they started with "The Crawling Eye" one evening
Dr. Forrester was sure they'd go insane
Their riffs let them survive
And the Mads were both surprised
On the pilot of MST3K

Well, they always had a movie
Yes, they never rode alone
And they soon put other heckling acts to shame
And they never had a sweetheart
And they never had a home
But the Satellite of Love took them through space

Well, they riffed their way from season into season
And the Mads just could not seem to wear them down
And it served their legend well
For the folks, they'd love to tell
'Bout when a new episode showed in town

((Piano bridge))

Well, one cold day The Mads sent "Diabolik"
As the Satellite of Love plunged out of space
And they landed without strife
And lived a nice suburban life
On the last ever MST3K

Well, they always had a movie
Yes, they never rode alone
And inspired online MiSTings of today
And they never had a sweetheart
But they finally found a home
In a nondescript suburban house and lane

In the TV Boxed Sets section of Blockbuster
Are the tales of these four 'bots and one man
And their war on celluloid
That made them well-liked and enjoyed
East and west of the Rio Grande

((instrumental ending))