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Song Parodies -> "(Lil') Slugger Boy - The Ballad of Paranoia"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"(Lil') Slugger Boy - The Ballad of Paranoia"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This parody isn't going to make a whole lot of sense if you haven't watched "Paranoia Agent," an anime that can be seen in its entirety on This is basically a crude timeline of what happens.
It's evening time in an alleyway
Tsukiko stumbles on down
She's worried about fitting in, you see
And her work's driving her through the ground

She thinks, "I'm so glad that I made Maromi
But now they need another gem
And try as I might
I've got nothing tonight
And I'm feeling the pressure from them."

(Various melo-dramatic moans)

Give us a break, you're the Slugger Boy
Give us a break, all right?
'Cause our problems are too much to handle, now
And a head wound sounds perfect tonight

Now Yuichi is a popular school boy
But they treat him like he's got the plague
'Cause he looks like the cat with his skates and his hat
Even though the description is vague

He puts all of his rage on the fat kid
And he'll watch as that kid's head is smacked
"Well that sure is a happy convenience."
He's distracted while he gets attacked

(More assorted melo-dramatic moans)

And Harumi, who's Yuichi's teacher
Has the split personality of a whore
It sure sounds simple but, she can't live with the slut
So the Slugger'll even the score

The detectives are trying their leads, now
But they can't seem to connect the dots
It'd be easy if they'd seen our side of the screen
But I guess that would defeat the plots

Spare us the guilt, you're the Slugger Boy
Spare us the pain, all right?
'Cause we're lacking some internal bleeding
Why don't you just put out our lights?

It's a pretty grim sight here in Tokyo
As that man and the girl run away
Slugger Boy's grown quite large and it seems he's in charge
Of black goo that kills without delay

So Tsukiko travels back in time somehow
And she coddles her dog that got killed
Lil' Slugger dissolves and the conflict resolves
But it just doesn't leave me fulfilled

(My melo-dramatic moans for watching the series)

You're just a dog, Lil' Slugger Boy
You're just a puppy, all right?
And you don't make me scared, though I am quite prepared
To get some paranod delight.

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
I didn't vote on this one. Thayer, this is America. We have enough bad cartoons of our own. We don't need to import them. And we've already got one guy who keeps writing parody after parody about cartoons that 12 people on this side of the Pacific have seen. Maybe I'm just taking it personally 'cause it's my man Billy, but if you want people to give you good ratings, make it something they'll understand. (One not-very-dramatic groan.)
thayer - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
I understand what you're saying, Michael. I'd love for people to vote/comment, but I guess I write my parodies more for myself than for what other people will readily be able to understand. I'm not trying to alienate anyone. I'm just not going to go out of my way to write something that I don't appreciate, and this is definitely something I appreciate. Maybe someone else will, and maybe they won't. I'm good either way.
the weird al did a parody to this poilce - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
weird al's is better
Cop Killer - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Ignore the above commenter; I don't think Weird Al ever parodied this one.
thayer - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
No, weird al did. It's called "Spider-man," and it is good. It's a summary of the first movie, much akin to how "Saga" is to Episode I.
Cop Killer - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
You sure? This is a rather old if Weird Al really did do a parody of this, it woulda been on one of his early albums...and I don't see it anywhere. You'll have to tell me what album it's on so I can find it and listen to it. Still, anyone can do a parody of whatever song. Just because Weird Al allegedly did one doesn't mean anyone else can't.
the shy child - December 08, 2006 - Report this comment
i really love your poem, i already seen the show and i understand your thoughts in hand, i really do.

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