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Song Parodies -> "She's Only A (Hannibal) Lecter Trainee"

Original Song Title:

"She's Always A Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"She's Only A (Hannibal) Lecter Trainee"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

NOTE: 'YOUR SELF' refers to YOUR SELF STORAGE, Hannibal Lecter's self storage unit , which contained the preserved head of a former patient of Dr. Lecter
At first it drew bile, when I tried 'Pickled Eyes'
Or when chewin' a plate of 'Unusual Thighs'
And what I thought was veal was just 'Chicken Fried Lee'
I cried and went wild when my wife became Lecter's trainee

Though her 'Swede's tough as glove, and your stomach may grieve you
And you break off a tooth, don't let on or she's peeeeved
She may feed you burned liver, chianti and beans
Don't give her no grief 'cause she's only a Lecter trainee

Ohhh, she shops there at "YOUR SELF"
They've got just what she wants, though the head's past it's prime
Ohhh, and you better not pout
You best shovel it in, even if not inclined

She served 'Thomas Galore', was the gard'ner we'd eaten
Though I'd rather have 'Butt ala Young Diane Keaton'
Or some 'Juicy Young Breast Carved From Pamela's D's'
For dessert we had elf 'cause she's only a Lecter trainee

Ohhh, I could grow to love elf
Though they're quite hard to hunt, they're delicious with thyme
Thoughhhh, you best not eat the snout
'Cause it's tough as the chin, 'less it's run through a grind

We frequently dine on some human-y gruel
Though we caught some diseases from that punk Raul
I may soon be addicted, and my wife agrees.....
That a roast human stew might give nightmares to you
But it's great for us Lecter trainees

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   15
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User Comments

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Paul Robinson - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
So this piece is about dining on the "pre-dead"...mine is about "schtupping" the post-mortem...you know this stuff done in this one just RUINS things for necrophiliacs....I think... 5's ~ ~ ~
alvin rhodes - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
disturbingly funny
Matthias - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, Stuart... You've got Cani-Balls in doing this parody... Just don't eat them... Fried Fives!!!
Amy Bounds - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Darn it, can anybody out there tell me how to add a word to this? My uncle Dee sent me home from the hospital last night with this parody, his password, and specific instructions to double check the spelling of every word. I forgot the very first word on the first line, which is supposed to be 'Well". If some editor sees this, could you add it before my uncle gets home tomorrow and sees it? I will be very thankful. My aunt Patty is getting out tomorrow and coming home. She helped Uncle Dee write this and she is in pretty good spirits now that she knows she is going home tomorrow. Thank you to whoever can help me.
Matthias - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Dee Range, I'm sorry for calling you Stuart McArthur to him I'm sure that is a compliment... My appologies..... Don't eat me!!!!
Stephen Harrington - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
555, I see that the more eccentric parody submissions are up today, good work on this one!
Johnny D - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Grotesquely clever indeed!
Arwen - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I think that Elf could grow to love you, too, Dee...=) And I'll have to agree that they should stay away from the snout...my nose is too cute to run through the grinder!!

This is LOTS of fun..."Chicken Fried Lee" got me started...and I was laughing all the way until that bastard punk Raul! FABulous!!!
Arwen - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
And Amy...

I don't think there's any way to change the parody once it's been posted...short of deleting it and then re-submitting it. I'm sorry about the missing word...it happens to the best of us...=) And I'm glad to hear that Patty gets to come home!! Hooray!
Stuart McArthur - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Matthias, I'm very proud of this one. I'll be entering it into SOTM as soon as I get Jack's ruling on the eligibility of a Dee-Range-penned parody (quietly confident though):-)

brilliant idea and brilliant parody, Dee. loved the detail, and you've raised some "juicy" hypotheses here too - does the mere fact that Pamela's D's look delicious indicate they would taste delicious too? hmm, quite the conundrum - and if so, following that logic, I'm absolutely certain that a "roast human stu" would be gastronomical nirvana - 555
Tommy Turtle - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I want some young Keaton butt! (So long as it's Diane, not Buster :). 555.
Tell Patty I said hi and send my best wishes to her and to Uncle Dee.
Larry Hensley - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
What Alvin said. 555
carol - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
chomp chomp! 5's
PMS - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Finger lickin' good.
Michael Pacholek - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
"For dessert we had elf..." Say it ain't so! Unless you're talking about a different kind of dessert... I wouldn't mind having a little something after dinner.
stonecat - May 08, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL Dee. Making me hungry!

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