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Song Parodies -> "Just The Weight You Are"

Original Song Title:

"Just The Way You Are"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Just The Weight You Are"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

Bob Gomez has a great parody of this song with the same title, but this is a completely opposite viewpoint.....
Please stop eating, and don't you squeeze me
Still hurting from the time before
Butt's 'a draggin', and even sideways
You still won't fit through our front door

Your dress size:SUMO, your ass has doubled
You're bigger than some compact cars
You eat from lunchtime, straight through 'till bedtime
You look just like the whale you are

Food I'm buyin', it ain't lastin'
I've checked the cupboards and the fridge
And I'm not sayin' should be fastin'
Although you might cut down a smidge

We now need sidewalk restoration
It wasn't meant to bear such lard
They just can't make one...that you can walk on
At least not at the weight you are

I did not know that you were once size three
A famous gymnast 'till you grew
When we make love and I roll over twice
I can't believe I'm still on you

I said I'd feed you...but not forever
I would go bankrupt a la carte
I just might feed old Lecter*
He'd love you just the weight you are
*Lecter is of course Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I think you've made your point, Dee. Funny lines.
alvin rhodes - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
great job...especially like the dress size
John Barry - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I love this just the way it is. 5s
Rick C - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Big on humor here, Dee. Lots of good lines....high fives.
AFW - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
EXcellent title, idea, and very well done
Michael Pacholek - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Way to POUND this one in there, Dee. There's something about BJ that lends him to food/overeating parodies: "Hungry Young Man," "I Burst At the Seams," "Only the Egg Foo Young," "Scenes From a Chinese Restaurant," "She's Gotta Weigh" and "You May Be Light (I May Be Heavy)." And those are just mine!
Stuart McArthur - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Totally hilarious! - So many LMAO lines in this one, Dee - the best is the brilliant "When we make love and I roll over twice I can't believe I'm still on you" - but close on its heels are lines 2, 6, 12, 13, 14, and 22 (space prevents full documentation) - 555
Dee Range - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Royce, alvin, John Barry, Rick c., AFW, MP, and Stu. I just listened to a midi of this, trying to learn it on the guitar, and I may have put the bridge in the wrong place. I think the next to last verse above should be higher up in the song. I may have to delete this and re-post it later.
Johnny D - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
As I stretch out over something to reach the keyboard and type ... 555.

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