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Song Parodies -> "Snitch from the Mos Eisley Spaceport"

Original Song Title:

"Scenes from an Italian Restaurant"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Snitch from the Mos Eisley Spaceport"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Hingle

The Lyrics

This parody song is written from the point of view of Garindan, an alien character who appears briefly in Episode 4 of Star Wars. The setting and time of the song is the cantina bar at Mos Eisley Spaceport on the planet Tatooine just after Han Solo shoots Greedo and leaves the bar. Garindan is a Kubaz spy with a long trunk-like nose. In the movie, he later trails Luke Skywalker and Ben Kenobi at Docking Bay 94 in Mos Eisley Spaceport. Just as Luke and Ben are about to take off in the Millennium Falcon with Han, Garindan informs Imperial stormtroopers of their whereabouts. The original song, Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, is on Billy Joel's 1977 album The Stranger. It's also on Billy Joel Greatest Hits, Volume I and II.
They say there's a price
On Han Solo's head
But now he's gone and Greedo is dead
We're all just tryin' to beat the heat
In this dark and seedy place
Girls and guys
From ev'ry race


Kenobi just fled
With a young guy in white
The same guy Walrus-Man tried to fight
I'll tell you anything you want
From my Mos Eisley Spaceport haunt

Things are real keen
On Tatooine
I need a nose job
And a bigger head orifice
But that's alright;
I eat in small bites
And use a straw to sip wine
I know where bounty hunters go
I'll tell ya things only Jabba's men know
I even know where to set up spice and Tabanna gas mines
Well, I'm the guy who can crack
All the underground Rebel codes
I can find the exact
Spot a spice-runner will unload
While you unwind and relax
To Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes
Corellian beer!
Hutt spice!
My sweet Mos Eisley sunset twice!

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh

Padme played mannequin
Before she met Anakin;
She looked like a porcelain doll
Striding around
In her souped-up gowns
With her hair really tall
Nobody looked any finer
Or could govern a planet so well for a minor
She was the queen while she still couldn't legally drive
Oh, but Padme was brave when the Trade Federation arrived

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh

Padme met Anakin
While people were panickin'
Back on her home-world of Naboo
She had come here
But it's not 'cause she feared
All the hullabaloo
Qui-Gon had said they should leave there
So she came here in that clown makeup she'd wear
But wisely decided the heat would make all of it run
So a poor-looking Padme met Ani beneath our two suns

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh

When they got off the planet
She helped the then-Senator
Palpatine shape his career
She must not have known
He was just a big phony
Who would govern the people by fear
To follow his dream,
Ani parted with the queen
And went to Jedi school for ten years

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, let the credits roll!

(Kloo horn solo)

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh

[Bridge, 2nd verse]
Ani was padawan
To this knight Obi-Wan
Who is known around here as ol' Ben
No longer a teen,
Padme quit being queen
And she served in the Senate but then
An assassin's grenade
Prompted Jedi aid
And so she met up with Ani again

Oh-oh, Oh-oh

Padme and Ani
Put off going steady
Even though Ani's feelings revived
Padme tried not to show
How her own love had grown
But confessed in due time
Obi-Wan wouldn't be happy
"Ani, you're s'posed to like cel-i-ba-cy"
They still eloped with their droid groomsmen both standing by

Oh, and that's all I heard about Padme and Ani
Can't tell ya more 'til George Lucas is ready
And here we are wavin' Padme and Ani goodbye

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

You heard what I said
'Bout the smuggler and knight
For a credit more I'll help you stop their flight
I'll tell you anything you want
From my Mos Eisley Spaceport haunt
(C) 2004 Jeff Hingle

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
You said a mouthful, Chewie! I, too, have tried to write around the gap that waiting for Episode III has caused ("Hey, Master Yoda"), but this takes the Corellian cake!
2Eagle - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Out of this world.
Jeff Hingle - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks so much, Michael and 2Eagle! Mike, it's quite an honor to get such a glowing review from someone who's written so many great parodies. I read "Hey, Master Yoda"--great job! My ego's a little bruised right now because someone gave "Snitch" all ones. Oh, well. You can't please everyone, I guess. I'd love to try to make a recording of this song somehow. My friend Adam came up with an idea to sample R2-D2's beeps and blips instead of the treble part of Billy's piano solo just before the "Brenda and Eddie" part.
Jeff Hingle - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Oops! I meant "two"s. Somebody gave me all twos, not ones.
Kim West - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Well Jeff, it is really quite ironic. You told me you were not familiar with my song, but liked my lyrics. I finally manage to find your song and I have to basically say the same thing. Your very good with words, even without knowing the song your lyrics stand up rather well. I also happen to like Star Wars, so I suppose that helped. At any rate I wish to give you 5,5,5 for using The Force in such a creative way. ^-^
Jeff Hingle - January 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Kim. You really ought to find the lyrics and original recording of "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant". It's one of my all-time favorite songs.
Shane - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I still need to hear the original song before being able to fully comment on it, but the lyrics are pretty well written. Definitely some stuff that would make even Wierd Al proud XP
Jeff Hingle - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Shane!
Adam - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff has always been good at the funny stuff (check out for his comic strip), and this thing is freakin' genius.
Jeff Hingle - January 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the kind words and the plug for my comic strip, Adam. Don't I know you from somewhere? - January 29, 2005 - Report this comment
"My sweet Mos Eisley sunset twice!" - heh heh. I'm sure I missed a bunch of the other in-jokes, but you've done an excellent job both writing the parody and plugging it.
Jeff Hingle - January 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Spaff!

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