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Song Parodies -> "Only A Sumo"

Original Song Title:

"Always A Woman"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Only A Sumo"

Parody Written by:

Paul Wooten

The Lyrics

This song is really about me
She can eat half a whale
And still have room for pie
Every bite that she takes adds to cottage cheese thighs
If she hikes up a cheek better pray for a breeze
She's submarine size
But she's only a turbo, CLASS B

So when push comes to shove
She can flush it or heave it
She can squeeze in a phone booth
But prob'ly not leave it
She might be the guest star of HANNIBAL 111
She eats like a wolf
But she's only a sumo,CLASS B

CHORUS

Oh, she just eats once a day
But she starts around dawn
And slops well into night
Oh, and she never puts out
Though I never want in
I'd get lost without light

She's got her own section
At the " GARDEN - OF - EATIN' "
She's been known to head butt them
If they cut off her feedin'
As they bring out the last
Of the wurst, pray for me
She eats like a wolf
But she's only a sumo, CLASS B

CHORUS

She eats 'till she's blind
Or they're all out of gruel
When she sits down to pig out
She uses two stools
Her weight's been restricted
By public decree
All her cud lets her chew
Is a meadow or two
'Cause she's only a sumo, CLASS B

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Johnny D - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Ha! I challenge any Amiright writer to come up with a fat parody fatter than THIS one! 5's
Paul W. - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, many many thanks. The "turbo " is a typo, it should be "sumo" , but I can"t type fer crap.......
Birgitta - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul,I absolutely LOVE your parody genius.This is SO good! GJ! K-I gotta run now,phone'll be back on tonight or tomorrow morning-my neighbor's giving me that "you better get off of my computer..." look,lol.Finish up my votes then. TC! Again,excellent & funny! :-D
Paul W - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Birg, the feeling is highly mutual.You're the best. Keep 'em cunnin:-D
Guy - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Great bit of writing Paul. I love all the cliches. This is truely phat. 5 free sides at your favorite fast food!
Paul W. - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, glad u enjoyed it . I'm tryin' to get my mind out of the gutter and write leaner stuff. It's not easy, being a sex-crazed fatso.......
Adagio - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
A really good parody, Paul!! 5's
Meraidoc - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This was great! So many clever lines I can't name them all, but "She can squeeze in a phone booth But prob'ly not leave it" absolutely cracked me up... :-D
Paul Woooten - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio and Meraidoc, thank you both so much! The phone booth joke is personal, because I have trouble myself! Having been 70 pounds overweight at one point, I started writing these things about myself to try and laugh myself skinny.Didn't work, although I have lost 37 lbs. Need about 40 more to get outta that booth!!!
Jay W - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Smooth and consistently funny lyrical flow. (Really.)
Paul Wooten - February 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Jay, thanks so much for your comment, feedback is good for inspiration.
JupitersRune - February 24, 2004 - Report this comment
I know this woman! Man! Thing! Whale of a tail tale! Loved it. When the CD comes out, let us know!
Paul Wooten - February 24, 2004 - Report this comment
J.R. Will do, thanks.

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