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Song Parodies -> "Aways a Banker"

Original Song Title:

"Always A Woman"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Aways a Banker"

Parody Written by:

MarthaDTox

The Lyrics

based on the law suit against Credit Suisse First Boston Frank Quattrone et al
He can give you hot stocks
You can flip straightaway
He'll claw most of it back
At the end of the day
And he only reveals
what he wants you to see
But I've got to play ball
cos he's always a banker to me

he will make you agree
to buy more on the day
at a much higher price
than you wanted to pay
but you'll take what he gives
cos the money is free
and he steals like a thief
but he's always a banker to me

oh he takes care of himself
it's a game he can't lose
he invented the rules
oh and he never puts out
and he never lets up
he just takes you for fools

he will promise you more
if you do it his way
then you see the commission
he wants you to pay
and he'll bring out the worst -
just the worst you can be
blame it all on yourself
cos he's always a banker you see

he's got analysts who
will advise you to buy
he can do what he wants
send those prices sky high
but he wont be convicted
I think you'll agree
But what can you do
Ring your brief try to sue

But he's always a banker you see

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

mac - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not convulsing with laughter here, but I liked it. 5-4-5
MarthaDTox - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks guy .. I was looking for your lyrics .. are you guy 195??
MarthaDTox - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I mean mac!
mac - February 05, 2004 - Report this comment
That's odd, I could have sworn I put a 5-4-5 vote up there already. Here goes once more...
Jay W - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
You're exactly right, but it's astounding how many otherwise intelligent people trust their money to any idiot in a nice business suit.. Great job here.
Meriadoc - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I bet you work in the banking industry, eh? ;-) Nice parody.
Peregrin - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes! I liked it too, Martha!
wdh - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Good pacing, but like mac I think it's not the funniest parody I've ever read
John Jenkins - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
An excellent parody about a banker who earned $120 million a year in salary and commisions in what seems like conflict of interest or violation of some law; but, as you write, probably "won't be convicted."
Johnny D - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Martha! Give 'em both parody-barrels!
martha - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments...John Frank Quattrone has been indicted in fact for ... guess what .....obstruction of justice (ordering destruction of incriinating materials). sounds familiar...??..!Dont think the case has been decided yet though.... I wrote that song back in 2002 I think..
Guy - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Martha - This paced and timed very well to the original. I missed it when it first posted. Well done. Three nickles to put into the bank for the banker. Good luck with the ABC.
neminem - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice. Would have liked more of the story you're basing it off of to be in the original parody, but oh well. Still got 5/5/5
martha - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks Guy thanks neminem.. I am not too sure what that last comment meant....??
Claude Prez - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Commenting now though I did vote earlier (just checked) Fun read even though I don't really know what's going on.
Paul Robinson - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Martha - sorry, I don't know the Bill Joel original.
martha - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
in case anyone is remotely interested in the dodgy dealings that go on routinely on Wall Street ..the story behind this song is located at at http://www.sec.gov/litigation/complaints/complr17327.htm thanks for all the votes and comments.. I write lots of these for fun for my financial law students to sugar the pill!
martha - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
in case anyone is remotely interested in the dodgy dealings that go on routinely on Wall Street ..the story behind this song is located at at http://www.sec.gov/litigation/complaints/complr17327.htm thanks for all the votes and comments.. I write lots of these for fun for my financial law students to sugar the pill!
2nz - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I hope you did this after your week, because if you didn't, I should have checked it out then and highlighted it for everyone. Anyway, top marks for this martha.
Spaff.com - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Yowch! Nicely skewered, Ms. DTox. "He only reveals what he wants you to see" and "he takes care of himself" incorporate perfectly from the original.
Martha - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks 2nz Thanks Spaff
John Jenkins - May 05, 2004 - Report this comment
He was convicted! After the U.S. Attorney's Office decided not to prosecute the apparent crimes of securities fraud, and after the first trial ended in a hung jury, Frank Quattrone was found guilty on Monday of obstructing justice... of course, there will be an appeal.
martha - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
well spotted ...thanks John I was planning to post about this myself!
martha - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
.....may have to update others such as the Martha Stewart story ..http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/wilsonpickett5.shtml have been so busy at work past few weeks have had no time to get into parody writing .. may have to leave it till the summer vacation
Phil Alexander - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Brilliant.

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