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Song Parodies -> "Texas Justice"

Original Song Title:

"Day After Day"

Original Performer:

Badfinger

Parody Song Title:

"Texas Justice"

Parody Written by:

Kelly Blythe

The Lyrics

The acquittal of Robert Durst has many poeple shocked and wondering how that could have happened in Texas, a state known for dealing so harshly with accused folks. But as the following song shows, the whackiness of Texas justice runs much deeper than this very recent case would inspire anyone to think!
I remember finding out about Durst.
Most folks thought it murder sure in the first.
But the jury said self-defense,
Shocking the world.
Most folks thought they lacked "common sense".
That's Texas justice, Yes_______!

Clara's hubby took a gal on the town.
Clara took her Mercedes, ran him down.
But that's not the extent of crimes
She did that day.
No, she backed up and two more times
She let him have it, Yes________!

Texas won't let murder lightly slip by.
So some thought that Clara surely would fry.
It cannot be an accident
When three full times
Back and forth the crazed driver went,
Running her victim down_______!

But for her, folks poured out much sympathy.
Clara for a while, it seemed, might go free.
"To society she's no threat,"
That's what some said.
And then after the jury met,
She got but twenty years_______!

Chante Mallard hit a man with her car.
'Gainst all odds, her windshield carried him far.
Then she paincked, hid him away
In her garage.
Not her most clearly thinking day.
That's where they say he died_______.

Then a jury, no way moved by her tears,
Handed down the max, which was fifty years.
Now for that tragic accident,
She'll waste away
Until most of her life is spent.
That's Texas justice, yes_________!

So we know what poor Chante should have tried.
Take the bloody man to her, be his bride,
And, once married, run over him
Two extra times!
Face the jury, and say to them,
"I deserve twenty years________!"

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User Comments

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Molly Ivins - November 17, 2003 - Report this comment
In the Great State, you can get five years for murder and 99 years for pot possession.
Michael Pacholek - November 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Molly wrote that around '91 or so. She has never amended it to say it'll only be 98 years if you don't inhale.

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