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Song Parodies -> "Goin' Out of Business"

Original Song Title:

"Takin' Care of Business"

Original Performer:

Bachmann-Turner Overdrive

Parody Song Title:

"Goin' Out of Business"

Parody Written by:

wannabemustangjockey

The Lyrics

A small furniture store goes under because of a larger chain.
We started in the thirties
Selling hur-dy-gurdies
Switched to fur-ni-ture in the fifties
Coffee tables by the dozen
To our neighbors and our cousins
We were the finest store in the city
But now I'm deep in debt
My account is in the red
IKEA took my customers away
If you think that you're annoyed,
I will soon be unemployed
And looking for a job in two days
And so I'm

Going out of business,
Final day!
Goin' out of business,
Sell-a-brate!
Yes I'm goin' out of business,
Slash the price
Goin' out of business
Clear out by closing time
Close out

I'm a man on a mission
Serious liquidation
I'm gonna dump my in-ventory
Here's a Steinway baby grand
Best piano in the land
And it has a very int'resting story
Got a laquered oak armoire
You can fit it in your car
Have it in your bedroom tonight
We'd prefer you pay in cash
But a check's an equal match
Don't worry, ma'am, I'm not gonna bite
'Cause, well, I'm

Going out of business,
Final day!
Goin' out of business,
Sell-a-brate!
Goin' out of business,
Slash the price
Goin' out of business
Clear out by closing time

Mercy
Booooo...
Not right
[instrumental interlude]
Say goodbye to my business
And lazy days ... and getting paid...
Booooo!

The biz is fast 'n dirty
Ask my great-aunt Gertie
She thought sell-ing fid-dles was nifty
But we couldn't make a profit
'Cause it's way too hard to off it
When the stuff lacks mark-et-a-bil'ty

Now my lease is dead
Barely can afford my bread
My hate for Swedish pre-fab grows each day
And I'm gettin' paranoid
If it isn't all deployed
Might have to sell this crap on eBay
So yeah, we're

Going out of business,
Final day!
Goin' out of business,
Sell-a-brate!
Goin' out of business,
Slash the price
Goin' out of business
Clear out by closing time

[Brief Instrumental Interlude]

Goin' out of business...boo
Goin' out of business
Goin' out of business
Goin' out of business
Goin' out of business...(what the hey?)
Goin' out of business...(ends today)
Goin' out of business...(move some pine)
Goin' out of business
We close the doors at nine
Boooo
Goin' out of business
Goin' out of business
Goin' out of business
We be goin' out of business
We be goin' out of business
Goin' out of business
Goin' out of business...

[fades out]
(c) 2007 Jay the Wannabe Mustang Jockey. I don't just write song parodies

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   16
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 16
 

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Despite being Swedish I'm not gonna defend IKEA, trying to assemble their stuff has caused me more headaches than Absolut Vodka!
Michael Pacholek - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
And five choruses of "Wal-Mart Sucks!" too!
Matthias - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Well since Mike told me to... "WAL-MART SUCKS!"
McKludge - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Chorus #2 "WAL-MART SUCKS!"
2Eagle - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Apt use of the original song. That is what is happening to the small furniture stores that sell high quality furniture. You should see the trendy look in interior decoration - bare floors and metal, etc. The security code says it all.
Ann Hammond - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
John Jenkins - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
There's a lot to be said for Swedish pre-fab, but there's a lot to be said for this parody, too. Particularly the "profit/off it" verse. Well done.
Michael Pacholek - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you, Matthias and McKludge. Counting my own, that's three. Can I get two more? I'm not too fond of IKEA, either.
HE6 - August 05, 2007 - Report this comment
WAL-MART RULEZ! Kiss mine, Bicholek! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Agrimorfee - August 15, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You gave the OS the business!
Max Power - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
555 dollars
Red Ant - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "Sell-a-brate!" and "Might have to sell this crap on eBay" stuck out for me. Great use of TOS. I have a hard time believing you, though: according to Haynes commericals (and The Dump), they've been "Going Out of Business" for years now. =) This parody was priced at $1599, now it's reduced to $555.
Kristof Robertson - August 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Bravo! A serious issue (the demise of small retailers due to mega-chain pillage) disguised as a very funny ditty. 555
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Some stores have 'goin' out of business' sales all the time...reminds me of the Stones :P. With rips like these, you'll certainly never go outta the parody business!
Phil Alexander - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Sad but kind of fun... loved the "rhyming" of "story" with "armoire"
stuart mcarthur - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) extremely well-written and paced, Jay, and another clever storyline and a point cleverly made - feel a bit sorry for Aunt Gertie though, stuck in her ways - 555
Jack Wilson - August 31, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome! 5s
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This parody was actually kinda sad. . .and I know what it's like, I've been with a mom and pop shop that went under (a hotel that lost out to Embassy Suites, Days Inn and Wingate). . .It was a nice OS to listen to after hearing that dreadful Desolation Row song by Bob Dylan, but your second verse kinda let off humor wise and didn't hit the rhyme scheme as well as the first verse or the third/fourth ones. . .This is one song where not varying the choruses turned out (imho) for the better. . .excellent job, won't say your best, but not your worst, best line was "Might have to sell this crap on eBay". . .hope this isn't a true story. . .if so, sorry buddy.

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