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Song Parodies -> "White Thighs"

Original Song Title:

"Bright Eyes"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Art Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"White Thighs"

Parody Written by:

Lifeliver

The Lyrics

This is kind of autobiographical. Yeah, I confess. But it happened a long time ago, on a bus. A hetero male adolescent fantasy most guys can probably relate to. Ladies, please try to enjoy the 'wordcraft', OK (lol)? OS here.


WHITE THIGHS

Is it a kind of dream
Floating lithe down the ai-aisle?
Following her, rivers of eyes downstream
Oh, peaches and cream

There's a show that I lay my eyes on
Strange hello in my fly-y
Hope nobody seems to know where I grow
Is it obscene?
Oh-oh, teenage daydream

White thighs, burning like fire
White thighs
How can her clothes but fail?
How can this boy who joked so lightly
Suddenly grow so pale?
White thighs

Prepotubering shadow
Reaching up to the light
Pondering over those hills unseen
Hills of my dream

My twig now turn into tree -ee
Destination the sky-y
And her body never knows where I grow
And once it starts -
Oh oh, wish it were dark

White thighs, yearning to squire
White thighs, that's what I saw - inhale!
Before this sight that burns so brightly,
How can I look away?
White thighs

White thighs, burning desire
White thighs, who can ignore who's male?
Worried this scene that so excites me
Suddenly turns tell-tale
White thighs

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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AFW - October 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Your fantasies were very poetic...mine were always crude...you've penned a nice piece - of literature, here.Sounds like something that might've happened in the sexth grade..favorite line.."My twig turned into a tree" ...at my age, that tree would be a weeping willow
Lifeliver - October 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks AFW. Weeping willows are extremely thirsty trees, lol. Are you insatiable?
Meriadoc - October 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Heh heh - we did Ebony Thighs once, but it wasn't along the same line. Now in the words of the immortal Dan Conner: "Just put a book in front of it, son"
Tommy Turtle - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
DKTOS'd me again, but you knew you'd hook TT with a title like that, you sly devil! ;) ... The imagery wins it here, and the only question unanswered is: Just how close to those thighs were you when you inhaled? Hoping it was less than .555 cm. xD

btw, no dictionary had "prepotubering", and a search at https://startpage.com gave *this parody* as the only response/link. So, props for a nice -- dare I say it? -- "neolo-jism", which -- dare I twice? -- "limns" -- nice-ly.

also btw, and the usual no-obligation, double-your-money-back, but Teen Turtle was fortunate enough to have the fantasy come true.
  http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/terryjacks25.shtml
Lifeliver - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Merry: DK Dan Conner but sounds like good advice. Of course a book wouldn't do - I would need a broadsheet newspaper (dream on).

@ TT: Glad you were tempted. I desecrated a beautiful Mike Batt song, Garfunkel's finest solo effort. It was used in the animated rabbit epic 'Watership Down' - a recommended classic (the song).
Re. prepotuberance, well spotted. I meant 'protubering', making a verb from protuberance. So it was actually a malapropism rather than a neologism, but I'll take the credit anyway. Thanks for the link - will check it out.
Meriadoc - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@LL: Don Connor was the fictitious husband on Roseanne. There was a whole episode about DJ reaching puberty and having 'that problem' and Dan and Roseanne were disagreeing on how to approach the matter with him. It was pretty funny.

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