I washed and waxed my car, it's squeaky clean
The windows all but disappear, like nothin' can be seen
A Poobird does the thing that he does best
He answers Mother Nature's call, but not there in his nest

He'll scout around for something shiny new
When he spots a real clean car, that's when
His poo will spot it, too
Thereafter feels such emptiness within
He'll need to feed on bugs and fruit,
And poo and poo, again

Spread your lousy wings and fly away!
I'd like to push that poo back where
It came from on this day
The car I love, you've splattered with doo doo
And if I could, I surely would
Crap on your stuff, too!

There's always lots of Poobirds in the air
If you're hatless with a shiny dome,
They may sham-Poo you there..
Oh, little Poobird, please, I beg you, poo me not
I know you only have one aim in life
And you're a real good shot..

Spread your lousy wings and fly away!
Before I push that poo back
Where it comes from on this day
The car I love, you've splattered with doo doo
And if I could, I surely would
Crap on your stuff, too!

Yes, if I could, I surely would
Crap on your stuff, too!