-> "I Won't Send My Girl to BJU"
Original Song Title:
"I Just Want to Be Your Everything"
Parody Song Title:
"I Won't Send My Girl to BJU"
For some days,
My daughter has been looking at schools in many ways.
Looking at the cost, the size, the majors and athletics,
She did conclude
She'd like university if the Trinity
Were emphasized like food.
But she chose
A school so strict that girls may not their legs expose
Or wear blue jeans to class and worship.
I hate this campus;
It's so legalist,
They enforce the KJV with its "thous" and "thees,"
And I am outright pissed!
I, I won't send my girl to BJU,
Where they hate the Catholics with a passion most unmatched
That I had it to scratch right from her list of favourite schools.
Oh! if I could do so legally, I'd burn the school
And then send armoured trucks with troops to guard it too.
I just go boohoo when she says BJU.
Oh, for eighteen years
I have raised you with moderation and with tears.
Change your heart, don't be a fundie, keep your head together
And listen to me:
If you go to BJU, they will ne'er let you
Bring Christian rock CDs.
I, I want you to go to Liberty,
Where they're somewhat open-minded when it comes to fun
And letting your legs sun on days when it's ninety degrees.
Oh! if you became a fundie, I would just lament
The loss of my lone daughter to legalistic fools.
I won't allow you to go to BJU.
(Repeat first refrain)
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