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Song Parodies -> "I Don't Know Where My Keys Are"

Original Song Title:

"I Don't Know How to Love Him"

Original Performer:

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Parody Song Title:

"I Don't Know Where My Keys Are"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I have only been on this Earth a short while and this is probably the first thing I learnt about the opposite sex. Every single male I have ever known has had exactly the same problem. I reckon in about ten years time they're going to find thet the y chromosome has a gene for this.
"I don't know where my keys are
Where are they? Where'd you put them?"
You're a man.
You're such a man.
Just like a million times before
I haven't touched your keys.
They're in the door.

But you still can't find your keys
No I won't let you take mine
Already did
You lost them too
I've found them, hidden them from you
You'll never find them again
They're in my hand

Still you're looking "round
Searching up and down
And it's all my fault
Like I'm your mother now
There's a spare set on the fridge
Said "I'll remember that they're there"

Don't you think it's kind of funny
We're always in this position?
You're the one who always screams
"Get ready! Hurry Up! We have to leave now!"
Then we'll look for your keys
For a whole hour.*

Wouldn't it be nice
If once we were on time?
No they're not upstairs
You just looked up there
Why the hell would I take your keys?
We're due fifty minutes ago

Yet, you'll deny all this completely
You'll tell this story to your friends
But instead it will star me
For goodness sake I'm shaking them
Right up in your face!
My God you're slow.

YOU found them I know
Can we just go?
* The record from my personal experience in two and a half hours. We were going country driving, which meant we only left when it was dark. He spent the whole time complaining about the bad visibility and the kangaroos coming onto the road at night and that we should have left earlier.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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Johnny D - April 06, 2006 - Report this comment
ROF---oops, dropped my keys---where ARE they?? ;-)
alvin rhodes - April 06, 2006 - Report this comment
funny...fits the lamentful tone of the OS
Rick C - April 06, 2006 - Report this comment
How can you tell there's a singer at the door? He doesn't know when to come in and, he can't find the key. 555
John Barry - April 06, 2006 - Report this comment
I left my keys in San Francisco. Nice job. 555
blondE - April 07, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks everyone! (if this were e-mail i would insert smile icon here)
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I may be a man but I do know what a smiley REALLY is: :-)

BTW: I hope Arwen comes by this parody.
Arwen - April 07, 2006 - Report this comment
You know, K1...I'm here, on YOUR suggestion...and really, the one conclusion I've come to is that by blondE's definitions, I'm a man. I lose my keys ALL THE TIME. Not for hours on end, mind you...but oh yes, I lose them. AND I leave them in the door. AND I've locked them in a running car. More than once. =)
Arwen - April 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh and yes...I meant to comment on blondE's problem of not being able to give us all a big smile. Are we really to that point where we've forgotten how to show our emotions to our online friends without a smiley already drawn for us? There's LOTS of ways to show us how you feel...

: )
; )
8 )

****These non pre-generated emoticons have been brought to you by Arwen, Queen of Quite a Few Things...and generally the most FABulous Elf around...Thank you, and good night.
Arwen - April 07, 2006 - Report this comment
DAMMIT, I can't believe I forgot that line break after my sad faces....>: (

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