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Song Parodies -> "Now Gone"

Original Song Title:

"How Long"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Now Gone"

Parody Written by:

John Davison

The Lyrics

Composed to mark the departure of Matt Hancock, one-time sports reporter on a Cambridge University FM radio station, from the UK cabinet, following a blatant breach of the social-distancing guidelines that he had expressed and modified for over a year. Within hours of suggesting that his sacking was not appropriate, Boris Johnson (then prime minister of the UK) accepted this resignation.
How long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?

Well our friends from the radio station
Seem to think my behaviour's extreme,
But I do think they're over-reacting
To a clip on a security screen.

And it seems like I wasn't intending
To throw-in-the-towel quite so soon,
But now Matt Hancock is suddenly trending
And Dom Cummings is over the moon!
How long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?

Now my friends with their smart vaccinations
Won't regard them as part of my scheme
And my guidelines in all permutations
Seem as random as our wildest dreams.
Boris said that he never intended
To state I was hopeless and weak,
But now millions of nurses and mothers
Have sent my career up a creek!

And how long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?
(How long?)
How long has this been going on?
(How long has this?)
How long has this been going on?
(How long?)
How long has this been going on?
Dominic Cummings, mentioned in verse 2, was a former adviser to Michael Gove MP and, latterly, Boris Johnson MP (Dom has never been an elected politician or a neutral civil servant) who had previously endeavoured to justify his own family's breaching of lockdown guidelines and, incidentally, made public a few messages (supposedly private communications) from 2020 sent by Boris via WhatsApp. Dom is astounded that the Health Secretary (Matt Hancock) remained in-post so long, in view of his major perceived misjudgements. The public has been led to believe, since December 2020, that Mr.Cummings no longer works closely with any cabinet member; but he continues to assist select committees in probing the Johnson Government's responses to the Covid-19 pandemic, particularly during the February-September period of 2020.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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John Davison - July 01, 2021 - Report this comment
In the introductory italics "Cambridge" should read "Oxford". According to the Daily Mail the radio station was called Oxygen 107.9FM; it is no longer active.
John Davison - July 17, 2021 - Report this comment
Emcor is the company that provides security CCTV equipment at the Department of Health and Social Care. The cameras used in its Victoria Street building are produced by Chinese company Hikvision. The US government has banned American companies exporting products to Hikvision over concerns about their involvement in the repression of Uygur Muslims in Xinjiang. The China Research Group of Tory MPs said Chinese state-backed surveillance technology was in various government buildings and called for a “central review of surveillance tech to assess security risks.” Philip Ingram, a retired military intelligence and security officer, said that the leak of camera footage from Hancock’s office — together with the discovery of classified Ministry of Defence documents (about naval operations in the Black Sea) at a bus stop over the weekend — should prompt the government to tighten its grip on security. Investigators have already seized “personal computer equipment and electronic devices” as part of an investigation into breaches of the Data Protection Act overseen by the UK's Information Commissioner’s Office.

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