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Song Parodies -> "I'm Still Off the Net"

Original Song Title:

"I'm A Marionette"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I'm Still Off the Net"

Parody Written by:

Ingeborg S. Nordén

The Lyrics

After waiting several hours for my ISP to fix a systemwide outage, I felt this parody nearly writing itself.
[SFX: longish instrumental intro, followed by modem dial-in sounds and furious mouse-clicking]

Woe is me:
Server problems at my ISP.
Tech support gave me the run-around;
no one's found
help, you see.

Something's wrong--
even dial-in shouldn't take this long!
System errors that they couldn't place,
couldn't trace--
What ding-dongs!


I'm still off the net,
I'm still off the net--
Click the screen.
I'm still off the net,
see me look upset:
"Error 718"?
I'm still off the net--
wonder what would get
systems down?
I'm still off the net,
haven't made it yet--
trouble all over town.

Tried to call:
couldn't speak with anyone at all.
Some recording told me "Yes, it's dead--
keep your head, don't you bawl!"

[SFX: very long instrumental Muzak interlude, interspersed with "All technicians are busy" announcements]

Crying shame--
not as if I have myself to blame.
Still, I try to keep my self-control
while I hold--
it's insane!


"Try today
in a little while", that's what they say.
"We're depending on our service staff"--
what a laugh, they're away!


Woe is me:
server problems at my ISP.
Tech support gave me the run-around;
no one's found
help, you see.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   17

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Should have put this in the comments, but--before people get on me about pacing, the vocalist in the original does indeed sing "marionette" as three syllables.
Airfarcewon - October 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I empathize with the PC frustration you so aptly describe here...Good job....DKTOS...but, good writing..
Lionel Mertens - October 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Your pacing is fine. Your server needs to pick up the pace. Five's for you. A big fat zero for them.
Larry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I totally agree with you on this parody. Made me smile

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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