Song Parodies -> Dance Machine

Original Song Title:	"Dancing Queen"
Original Performer:	ABBA

Parody Song Title:	"Dance Machine"
Parody Written by:	EmiLoca

Went to the arcade with some friends today, and tried those funny games where you stand somewhere and you dance according to the screen. There was one where you move your feet and another where you move your arms. Sigh...and I was so sure that I was good at everything.

THEY can dance!
THEY can jive!
Halfway inclined - I should try!
I'm that girl, arcade scene;
Now on the dance machine.

Try, I might, it's a frightful show
Manic steps to the pink arrows
Anime lovers use it, sweating, mastering
But how do they dance on this thing?
Never understood DDR
Para-Para threw out my arm
Foreign rap - is this music? Failure, I resign
What is this? Another chance?
Hopeless, I'm in my stance...

I'm on a dance machine;
Lungs crushed, me, home'ly - two left feet
Frantic teen
Bounces, screams like too much caffeine
"EuroTrance"? "Feel It"? "Dive"?
Never heard of "Ghosts of Life"...
4-step world once I've seen
Steps on the dance machine.

Four quarters, and the game is on
Jumping, bouncing (while men all fawn)
Wonder when I'll recover; fix my busted shoes
Too bad I've got one more dance
Clumsy, I have no chance...

I'm on a dance machine
Stumbling mien, eyes upon the screen
Dance machine
Techno beats sung in Japanese
Speed enhanced? Faster drive?!?
Prancing in time, feet in strife!
Freestyle twirls, legs careen...
...Quittin' the dance machine.

A note: I got conflicting results as far as lyrics go here. Ex: "...in the mood for a dance" as opposed to "....mood for dance". So that's my excuse for any possible pacing errors. :-)

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User Comments Follow...

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Arwen - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

LOL, Emi!! When I was living in SLC, my roommate came home one day and said that they had the COOLEST thing in their break room at work...yeah, that's right...the "Dance Dance Revolution," a machine along the lines that you're singing about. One night we were at the Fun Dome...and alas...she made us ALL give it a whirl. Unlike you, I didn't think that I was good at EVERYTHING...but the incident just fortified my eternal argument that I AM very good at humiliating myself in public. 5s, dear...for bringing back such a horrid memory!

Leo Jay - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

This is great. My, you're prolific these days...

Ashkicksass - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

I too, had a humbling encounter with Dance Dance Revolution. I took all kinds of dance classes growing up, and as a teenager, so I figured I would kick the machine's ass. No such luck. I have never felt so uncoordinated in my life! Great parody - it really gave me a laugh!

lebeiw15 - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

That was pretty good--I, too, am horrible at these.

EmiLoca - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

Thank you, everyone...and that would be:

Arwen - Hey...self-humiliation is a talent!
Leo Jay - I was wondering when I'd get a comment from you.
Ashkicksass - Thank you, AKA! Ever tried that weird one where you move your arms? Wow, if you think messing up on DDR is bad, think about frantically jabbing your arms in random places in time to "Sexy Sexy Sexy".

Johnny D - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

My wife and I recently saw a story on the evening TV news about these gizmos .... YIKES! Good for you for giving it a try, Emi! 5's

EmiLoca - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

Oh! And I forgot lebeiw...thanks to you, too.

John Barry - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

I'm doing a 5-step to this one.

neminem - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

Absolutely brilliant! Course, I'm better at DDR than actual dancing, which says nothing about my skill at DDR but loads about my skill at actual dancing... ;-). On the other hand, I really want to get Karaoke Revolution - I figure as soon as I figure out how to turn *off* the vibrato which apparently I've picked up unconsciously, I'd cream at that game.

EmiLoca - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

Johnny D, who I apparently missed in the second thank you...thank you!
Mr. Barry, who...um...does a five step...thank you!
neminem, who creams at DDR but whips at actual dancing...thank you! And I agree - personally, I'm much better at singing than 4-stepping.

neminem - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

No, I don't cream at DDR. I suck at DDR, I just suck at actual dancing *worse*. But you're welcome ;-).

Rod Worden - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment

Whew! Almost got exhausted reading this one! Great job and funny, Emi, 555!

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment

How'd I miss this one? Great rhyming ( I stole 'teen' from you in my parody of this song! Alas! I knew I should have stuck 'rancid aquamarine'!) I so totally give cheddar to yours over mine! 555 PS. This looks like it was a one-day hit according to the comments!

EmiLoca - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment

*considers posting innuend-ic nonsense about one-day hits*
Thanks to Rod Worden and JARLB for the comments I didn't see until now. Your backfeed is appreciated.

T.J. Spindler - January 01, 2005 - Report this comment

I understand... The first time I tried it, I failed on beginner mode horribly, but 3 years and about $182.00 later, I was able to do heavy mode. Once you learn how to do it, it is fun. Not the first time. All those people watching...waiting for you to fail miserably. A few months ago, I got the game and the mat for PS2, it saves a lot of money. 5's, my friend, because I understand...

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 01, 2005 - Report this comment

No, Emi, it's not a mirage. T.J. also referred to me as 'my friend' and managed to formulate a User Comment composed of rational thought processes. I'm scared, too.

yourworstnightmaresnightmare - January 05, 2005 - Report this comment

if they are playing half way inclined that means they are playin on a 45 degree angle but good 555

EmiLoca - January 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Don't worry about it, Luke. Eventually I'll get used to his *gulp* rational responses. Besides, The Nightmare of all Nightmares is obviously trying to fill his spot.

DJ Blaze - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment

Great tribute to the classic dance games! I am, as most of you know, a DDR addict, and I've also tried Dance ManiaX. BTW, by Japanese rap, could this be a reference to DDR's song "Daikenkai"? 555 AAAs for this one.

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Song Parodies -> Dance Machine

"Dancing Queen"

ABBA

"Dance Machine"

EmiLoca

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