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Song Parodies -> "Kerry, Kerry (A Progressive's Lament)"

Original Song Title:

"Mamma Mia"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Abba

Parody Song Title:

"Kerry, Kerry (A Progressive's Lament)"

Parody Written by:

Ravyn Rant

The Lyrics

I started this right after Super Tuesday, when the Democratic candidate was announced months before the convention.
Please don't ask me to vote for a political hack
Who voted for the war on Iraq and the Patriot Act
Maybe I'd try if the DLC
Gouged out my eyes so I can't see that it's a game
Where the players are both the same
And I find it just a little bit strange
That you think he'll be an agent of change
Oh, no!

Kerry, Kerry, he's your candidate
My, my, how can I vote for him?
Kerry, Kerry, I can't handle it
Why, why can't I just ignore him?
Don't wanna vote for Nader
People will blame me later
So we'll just elect a cor-prate ho'
Kerry, Kerry, how I'd like to know
Why, why are elections always so?

He's a big millionaire like that other white male
Who also joined Skull and Bones while he studied at Yale
That's how it works when the fix is in
A vacant smirk or condescending grin, what a choice
For a people who have no voice
Looks like nothing will be changing this fall
Don't know why I bother voting at all
Oh, no!

Kerry, Kerry, he's your candidate
My, my, how can I vote for him?
Kerry, Kerry, I can't handle it
Why, why can't I just ignore him?
Don't wanna vote for Nader
People will blame me later
When the cor-prate media tells them so
Kerry, Kerry, song remains the same
No real choice has been presented
Kerry, Kerry, it's a cryin' shame
And I don't feel represented

Kerry, Kerry, he's your candidate
My, my, how can I vote for him?
Kerry, Kerry, I can't handle it
Why, why can't I just ignore him?
Don't wanna vote for Nader
People will blame me later
So we'll just elect a cor-prate ho'
Kerry, Kerry, how I'd like to know
Why, why are elections always so?

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Definitely worth more than 1s... "And I find it just a little bit strange/ That you think he’ll be an agent of change" seems to me very near the mark. Very well written.
Johnny D - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with Philbo on this one, 545, not bad, pretty good.
John Jenkins - March 28, 2004 - Report this comment
IMO, there are many problems with taking the "Progressive" path, but you have expressed yourself very well in this parody.
Ravyn Rant - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks very much for the feedback!
Royce Miller - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I just read this parody and agree with Phil's comments-good job
Ingeborg - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Straight 5's: good pacing/rhymes, hot topic, language in good taste. This song explains ONE of the reasons I'm writing in "None of the above" on my ballot this November.
Tommy Turtle - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Four and six years later, the situation is no better. Well said, and for a *real* choice, try the LP. www.lp.org. Belated 555s, if you still are around here anymore.

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