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Song Parodies -> "Last-Chance Dean"

Original Song Title:

"Dancing Queen"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

ABBA

Parody Song Title:

"Last-Chance Dean"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

I wrote the second part of this parody to match the pacing, length, and format of the first part of the original song - I did this so the parody's story would be complete.
Needs no sleep - see him glean - between canteens of caffeine
Raising cash - shmoozing green - here comes the last-chance dean!

University funds are low
Applications come in too slow
Lecture halls are decaying, library's a mess
The swimming pool needs more chlorine

Chancellor and Trustees all cry
For a financial-savior-guy
Frantically they start looking, for someone to make
Money problems go away

They see your resume...

Now you're their last-chance dean,
With a track-record squeaky-clean
Last-chance dean!
You raise funds like a cash-machine ( Oh yeah! )
Trustees pray - you'll succeed - or into debt they'll careen (ooo-ooo-ooo)
Raise them funds - shmooze that green - you are the last-chance dean!

Into motion you set your plan
Call your webmaster - he's your man
To set up your new website, full of fantasies
Needing an Adult-Check-I.D.

Asking students when they were born
Eighteen-year-olds can pose for porn
Grab your digital camera, boot up your PC
And post your J-PEG's of sin

Credit card hits roll in...

And tons of cash you glean
From pictures just a bit obscene
Sleazy scenes!
Now you don't seem so squeaky-clean ( Who cares! )
Here comes cash - in a flash - Trustees, they all love your ass (ooo-ooo-ooo)
Sell that smut - on that screen - they love their last-chance dean!

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User Comments

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Guy - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Loved the lyrics, but missed the story line. What am I missing here besides not knowing what other parody this was in reference to? Smooth delivery to a great song and challenging lyrics to parody. Great work.
Johnny D - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Guy! I have read and I love your own "Dancing Queen" parodies - especially the way you skillfully handle the internal rhyme. My comment at the top actually does not refer to a different parody. The original song "Dancing Queen" has only one verse between the second and third chorus; I wanted to have two verses between the second and third choruses so I could tell my stupid little story in its entirety, that's all.
Johnny D - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy - to be more specific - the original "Dancing Queen"'s second occurrence of "And when you get the chance..." is preceeded by only 1 four-line verse.......I wanted my parody's second occurrence of that line to be preceeded by 2 four-line verses to tell the complete story of this sleazy dean, so I copied the pacing and format of the first part of "Dancing Queen"'s double-four-verse-set for my own parody's second-half.
Who cares anyways - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
To the Honorable Mr.D. Great Parody! All fives! :-)
Guy - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Is there such a dean in real life? Just curious. Song doesn't need a patriarch to make it good.
Johnny D - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
No such dean I know of, Guy. Just made him up out of my somewhat warped imagination. I didn't envision him as a patriarch, but thanks for your encouraging comment that such a character isn't necessary for the parody to be good.
Spaff.com - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice fund-raising idea!
Wild Man - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Great Job!
JusSumGurl - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
it was gr8!!! Nothin i waoulda changed!! And i agree with u, the extra verse was entirely needed!!!!!! gr8 job!!
Johnny D - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks very much to Guy, Who cares anyways, Spaff, Wild Man, and JusSumGurl ! I like to write really, really STOOOPID parodies now and then, and I must proudly say that this counts as one of my stupidest !

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