-> "Last-Chance Dean"
Original Song Title:
"Dancing Queen" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
Needs no sleep - see him glean - between canteens of caffeine
Raising cash - shmoozing green - here comes the last-chance dean!
University funds are low
Applications come in too slow
Lecture halls are decaying, library's a mess
The swimming pool needs more chlorine
Chancellor and Trustees all cry
For a financial-savior-guy
Frantically they start looking, for someone to make
Money problems go away
They see your resume...
Now you're their last-chance dean,
With a track-record squeaky-clean
You raise funds like a cash-machine ( Oh yeah! )
Trustees pray - you'll succeed - or into debt they'll careen (ooo-ooo-ooo)
Raise them funds - shmooze that green - you are the last-chance dean!
Into motion you set your plan
Call your webmaster - he's your man
To set up your new website, full of fantasies
Needing an Adult-Check-I.D.
Asking students when they were born
Eighteen-year-olds can pose for porn
Grab your digital camera, boot up your PC
And post your J-PEG's of sin
Credit card hits roll in...
And tons of cash you glean
From pictures just a bit obscene
Now you don't seem so squeaky-clean ( Who cares! )
Here comes cash - in a flash - Trustees, they all love your ass (ooo-ooo-ooo)
Sell that smut - on that screen - they love their last-chance dean!
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