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Song Parodies -> "The Taxman Takes It All"

Original Song Title:

"The Winner Takes It All"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

ABBA

Parody Song Title:

"The Taxman Takes It All"

Parody Written by:

Glynn Leaney

The Lyrics

THE TAXMAN TAKES IT ALL

I’ve just got to talk
About the state I’m in now
Going on so long
It’s oh so very wrong.
I have worked so hard
And I guess you have too
What more can I say
When I get my pay

The taxman takes it all
I’m left with bugger all
We’ve seen it all before
Always wanting more.

When I started out
I was young and happy
I worked hard at my school
Everything was cool.
Passing my exams
Hoping to do better
Nothing then to fear
With a good career.

Then Fate would play a part
It happened from the start
I went and lost my way
And with it went my pay.
The taxman takes it all
I’m up against a wall
There’s nothing else to gain
Might as well complain.

I don’t know what to do
Do you have an answer?
Are you just the same
A number, not a name?
Something deep inside
Tells me I’m a loser
And so I’m afraid
Tax bill must be paid.

The system isn’t fair
And no-one seems to care
That’s why we’re all so poor
Can’t take any more.
The bill arrived today
I don’t know what to say
The figure isn’t small
The taxman takes it all.

I’ve just got to talk
Though I’m feeling so sad
You can understand
The same throughout the land.
Don’t apologise
If you don’t feel sorry
I should simply quit
As I’m in the shit!
Don’t you know
The taxman takes it all
The taxman takes it all...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 1
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 5   11
 9
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User Comments

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Dave W. - May 09, 2014 - Report this comment
Ya got that right.....unfortunately
Patrick - May 09, 2014 - Report this comment
The Income Tax is the greatest single evil ever inflicted on the American public. It led to our unnecessary participation in World War I. It has stifled economic progress and fed the leviathan which continues to devour us. It needs to be repealed and have a stake driven through its heart, like the blood sucking vampire it is.
Michael Pacholek - May 09, 2014 - Report this comment
No, the taxman does NOT take it all. America is the most undertaxed industrialized nation. The income tax has AIDED economic progress, and "the greatest single evil ever inflicted on the American public" was slavery. Also well ahead of the income tax on that list was the ruination of the Native Americans, segregation, the massacres of labor demonstrators, the Vietnam and Iraq wars, the blockage of health care reform, and letting nearly 2,000 people drown in Hurricane Katrina. All of them conservative ideas.
Jonathan - May 09, 2014 - Report this comment
great job I just hope it wasn't too emotionally taxing on you to write this! 5's
I'm the taxman... Yeah, I'm the taxman - May 09, 2014 - Report this comment
...and you're working for no one but me...
Pay no attention to that fool MP - May 09, 2014 - Report this comment
In a lot of places (such as California and New Jersey, to give just two examples), the taxman steals more than HALF of everyone's income once you factor in the state and local taxes; not counting inflation, which is a "stealth" tax on the remainder. The only thing that keeps America from being the worst in this regard is Europe. The "greatest single evil ever inflicted on the American public" is baby butchery, which has tortured to death more than 50,000,000 innocents so far in America alone. Also on the list of evils is the Old South's chattel slavery, the internment of American citizens in concentration camps, segregation, crony corporatism, wage slavery and a well-nigh elephantine welfare state begun in President Johnson's time, the Vietnam and Libyan "policing actions" (they were never actually declared as wars), the theft and destruction and of everyone's healthcare through an unwanted "reform" illegally slipped through Congress through lies and bribes and corruption and extortion, the neglect and abandonment of hundreds of buses that were quite available and badly needed for evacuating thousands who were in Hurricane Katrina's path through massive corruption and sheer incompetence, and the lynching and race riots that have claimed thousands of lives of (especially) various racial minorities over the years. All of this treasonous genocidal activity has been brought to you by the party of the Black Panthers and the KKK: a.k.a. the "Democrats" who are more properly known as Hell-bound fat-cat commie goose-stepper parasites.
Facts Man - May 10, 2014 - Report this comment
The taxman takes nothing from you. You never had it. You pay zero tax. "Gross income" is a charade and a fiction. You say you earn $100K? No you don't. You earn your net pay of approximately $50K. It is net income for which we compete in the labor market. Capitalists have determined what is enough take-home pay for the middle-class wage slave to barely live on.

The real value of the slave's labor is about $300K. From this amount the corporate barons pay (in your name) $50K to the government to prosecute the wars which are required to protect their "vital interests." Your W-2 should read:
1. Value of labor -- $300K
2. Gross income (delete this line) -- $100K
3. Net income (what the slave takes home) -- $50K
4. Withholding tax (protection money paid, in the slave's name, to the government) -- $50K
5. Add lines 3 and 4
6. Subtract line 5 from line 1. This is the portion of the sweat of your brow that pays for C.E.O. bonuses, gold bathroom fixtures, etc. -- $200K
Democrat Lies - May 10, 2014 - Report this comment
"I did not have sex with that woman." "Safe, legal, and rare." "Gore won the election in 2000." "That's above my pay grade." "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor." "If you like your insurance plan, you can keep your insurance plan." "There is no vote fraud." "America is the most undertaxed industrialized nation." "The economy is recovering." "Benghazi is a fake scandal." "Hillary has many achievements." "Elizabeth Warren is a Native American." "Government regulation is the only thing protecting you from big corporations." Also, I am the King of Cashmere.
Rex - May 10, 2014 - Report this comment
So back to the parody... this is a lovely work. A substitute line did pop into my head when I was reading it: instead of "I went and lost my way" I thought of "I cashed my IRA". Anyway, enjoyed this and hope to hear it performed someday!
Patrick - May 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Without an income tax the government could not have fought the Vietnam or Iraq/Afghanistan wars. Chattel slavery was inflicted upon a minority. The Income Tax affects everyone. The treatment of the American Indians is the example of how the government would like to reduce everyone to a state of dependence and despondency. I don't recall conservatives blocking anyone from leaving New Orleans as the hurricane approached. The school board had hundreds of buses that could have transported thousands of people. They let them sit until they were consumed by the flood. Evil is with us. But government evil could not be funded without taxation.
The Anti-Patrick - May 10, 2014 - Report this comment
It takes a Kansan to write the ridiculous "...the government would like to reduce everyone to a state of dependence and despondency."
The good that government does also could not be funded without taxation. It's easy to talk about the horrific treatment of Native Americans in settling the West. But the government (i.e., We, the People) also sold public land to settlers for low prices and sometimes even gave it away. The railroads, which spurred so much growth in the West, would not have been built without massive subsidies from the federal government. And today, much of the farming in many Western areas is made possible by federal water projects, substantial parts of the ranching are subsidized by the artificially low grazing fees on federal property, and much of the mining is made more profitable by dirt cheap access to federal land. Cities like Los Angeles and Las Vegas would dry up and blow away without the federally funded dam and canal projects that provide water to those arid regions. So it is ironic that while anti-big government sentiment is very strong in parts of this region, the West literally would not and could not exist as it does today without the sustained help of the federal government.
Glynn - May 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey guys, I do appreciate the comments but what you don't know, until now, is that I'm a Brit!...and at the end of the day, it is only a parody and not a political statement.

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