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Song Parodies -> "Mutombo"

Original Song Title:

"Fernando"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

ABBA

Parody Song Title:

"Mutombo"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

This little bit of doggerel has been buzzing around in my otherwise infertile brain for about a week. This is my tribute to one of my all time favorite NBA players, Dikembe Mutombo, who was one of the greatest defensive players in NBA history and finished his career ranked #2 all time in blocked shots. Some explanatory notes: Stanza One makes reference to his signature move of wagging his finger after blocking someone's shot; Stanza Two refers to his greatest moment when he led his Denver Nuggets to a monumental upset of the 63-19 Seattle Supersonics, at which point he collapsed to the floor hugging the ball while weeping with joy; Stanza Three refers to a remarkable late career renaissance where he was one of the league leading rebounders at the age of 41
Do they hear you come, Mutombo
Do they drive the lane and stop and look
And dribble off their feet
Do you school the bigs*, Mutombo
Do you jack their weak assed stickbacks*
Send them flying into stands
Then I see you wag your finger
Like you're schooling wayward lads

Now it's '94, Mutombo
Your eight blocks in Game Five
Made Sonics panic mightily
Then you hugged the ball, Mutombo
You were young and at your peak
And caused their playoff hopes to die
And I'm not ashamed to say
The sight of your unbridled joy almost made me cry

There was someone in the lane that night
Point guards took flight, Mutombo
They were shying from tenacious D
Your block party*, Mutombo
Though I thought your post up moves
Were kind of lame
If I had to draft you fourth again
I would my friend, Mutombo

Now you're old and gray, Mutombo
And since many years guards blow by
Like you're rooted in the sand
Yet you grab rebounds, Mutombo
And rotate and press and do small things
To lend a helping hand
I could see it in your eyes how proud you were
To reach #2 in this land

There's a menace in the paint, tonight
White bigs take fright, Mutombo
They were quailing from your block party
Intensity, Mutombo
Though you tended to stop up flow
Like a beaver dam
If I had to trade for you again
I would my friend, Mutombo

Balls are sailing in the air tonight
Lay ups take flight, Mutombo
They were flying to the top of key
To seats cheapie, Mutombo
Though I thought Shaq made you his bitch
Back in '01
If I had to be your fan, again
I would my friend, Mutombo

If I had to be your fan, again
I would my friend, Mutombo





*I'm doing a little spoofing of NBA hip hop jargon as well. "School the Bigs" - dominate the big men. "Stick back" -- attempting to immediately put the ball back into the basket after grabbing an offensive rebound. Mutombo blocked hundreds of these shots. "Block party" -- facetious term for a game in which a player blocks numerous shots. Mutombo hosted about 200 of these

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

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Callmelennie - March 23, 2013 - Report this comment
It's clear, from the overwhelming response, that there is a tremendous unmet need here at Amiright for NBA-themed song parodies :-D. That's OK, there are lots of NBA fanatics in my immediate family, so this one's for them
Wendy Christopher - March 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Aw, bless your heart lennie... I am completely the wrong person to attempt to sound knowledgeable about NBA (is that baseball or basketball? And right there's a good example of why...) I did enjoy this one very much though, and even felt some love for Mutombo too (in a purely sport-related way, I hasten to add!) You scored a 555 from me :^)
Callmelennie - March 27, 2013 - Report this comment
You're a sweetheart, Wendy

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