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Song Parodies -> "Canoeing Lesson"
Original Song Title:
"I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do"
Original Performer:
ABBA
Parody Song Title:
"Canoeing Lesson"
Parody Written by:
Giorgio Coniglio
The Lyrics
“ A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe ”, Pierre Berton, eminent journalist and historian.
Need a location, eh? lakeside assignation?
Just for two:
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
You’ll need the J-stroke, to steer straight; and for gay-folk
Take a crew,
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
Best pick a partner like Twiggy, but short;
Bow to discomfort if trapped ‘neath the thwart.
Put down your paddle, when you climb in the saddle.
‘musez-vous !
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
Wear your preserver, ‘cos it might get rude,
If Mounties spot-check, and you’re in the nude.
Don’t lean on the gunwhale, should you enter a tunnel;
This tip’s true:
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
P. Berton coined it our iconic boat,
Control paroxysms, you’re certain to float.
Get with your tête-à-tête, and not get quite soaking wet,
C’est beau !
Canot, canot, canot, canot, canot *.
Just for two:
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
You’ll need the J-stroke, to steer straight; and for gay-folk
Take a crew,
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
Best pick a partner like Twiggy, but short;
Bow to discomfort if trapped ‘neath the thwart.
Put down your paddle, when you climb in the saddle.
‘musez-vous !
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
Wear your preserver, ‘cos it might get rude,
If Mounties spot-check, and you’re in the nude.
Don’t lean on the gunwhale, should you enter a tunnel;
This tip’s true:
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.
P. Berton coined it our iconic boat,
Control paroxysms, you’re certain to float.
Get with your tête-à-tête, and not get quite soaking wet,
C’est beau !
Canot, canot, canot, canot, canot *.
* A nod to Canada’s other national language: “canot” rhymes with beau, “t” not pronounced.
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Don Giorgio - I should be "paddled" for this pun, but I was laughing so much that I almost had a "stroke". ;D
Since initial submission, the song acquired a few more lines......... / One final pointer - l'avant-canotage / Don't flirt with foreplay pendant le portage/ There's no better bateau built for Anglo- or Franco- / Vous et nous / Canoe, canot, Canuck, canot, canoe. /
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