You can pray, you can fast
Everyday you go to Mass
Oh, no time off, no sex please
You are a Catholic Priest

1) Sunday Mass, attendance is low
Coz Mass is a boring place to go
Coz the music is dirgy
And no-one likes the clergy
They all are booed and hissed
What happened to your life?
You could have a job and a wife
But you took Holy Orders
Now you've never been kissed
You spend your spare time pissed
There again you'd have missed...

Chorus:
... Being a Catholic Priest
Young if you're under 70
Catholic Priest, drink altar wine in the sacristy, oh yeah
You can pray, you can fast
Everyday you go to Mass
Oh, drink the most, spend the least
You are a Catholic Priest

2) Catholic Priests, there's not many left
Some parishes are already bereft
Priesthood numbers are slipping
So let's ordinate some women
But that's a hell of a risk
Instead spend you're time pissed

Chorus:
And be a Catholic Priest
Young if you're under 70
Catholic Priest, drink altar wine in the sacristy, oh yeah
You can pray, you can fast
Everyday you go to Mass
Oh, no time off, no sex please
You are a Catholic Priest

Close to fade