Dear friendly Craig's List posters, I really love this site
There's lots of things for me here, I think I'll take a bite
I furnished my apartment, I bought a bitchin' van
I don't see why I can't find a man
Posters: Dating on Craig's List is not what it seems
It's not to likely that you'll find the man of your dreams
You're better off looking in neighborhood bars
Or picking up guys selling cars!
(Selling cars, selling cars, or passed out in bars, you'd be better off trolling through bars!)

Prospective Craig's List suitor, I really liked your post
You seem to have a clue here, you didn't seem to boast
Then we talked for hours, you sounded awful sweet
I could like you! I think we should meet!
Suitor: Dating on Craig's List - it isn't that way
I didn't want a girlfriend, just a roll in the hay
Believing my posting - what's that all about?
I paid for dinner, you put out!
(You put out, you put out, that's what it's about, if you want to see me you'll put out!)

Oh, costly Dr. Headshrink, whatever's wrong with me?
The guys I meet on Craig's List aren't what they claim to be
I've had a dozen dates now, and nothing ever works
I'm not THAT bad, could they all be jerks?
Doctor: Dating on Craig's List, it isn't that bad
In any group of men you'll find a couple of cads
You can't be so picky when dealing with men
Dust yourself off and try again!
(Try again, and again, 'cause they're only men, if you want a boyfriend, try again!)

Dear kindly judge, Your Honor, I need a man restrained
The fellow's off his rocker, he'll never be retrained
He started getting scary, I told him "Take a walk",
I said, "See ya!", now I'm being stalked!
Judge: Dating on Craig's List? You're not very bright!
If they were decent they would not be online all night
They're surfing the Web for a quick piece of a**
You want a nice guy? Go to Mass!
(Go to Mass, go to Mass, for a guy with class, if you want a nice guy, go to Mass!)

His issue is psychosis - he's crazy when he drinks
His issue is hygienic - he has bad breath and stinks
His issue is he's married, and has someone at home
Buddy, I've got issues of my own!
Dating on Craig's List, I think that I'm through
I think that I should look for something better to do
Weeding out wack-jobs is too big a chore
Ain't dating on Craig's List no more!