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Song Parodies -> "Dating on Craig's List"

Original Song Title:

"Officer Krupke"

Original Performer:

West Side Story Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Dating on Craig's List"

Parody Written by:

Ravyn Rant

The Lyrics

This is my ode to online dating.
Dear friendly Craig's List posters, I really love this site
There's lots of things for me here, I think I'll take a bite
I furnished my apartment, I bought a bitchin' van
I don't see why I can't find a man
Posters: Dating on Craig's List is not what it seems
It's not to likely that you'll find the man of your dreams
You're better off looking in neighborhood bars
Or picking up guys selling cars!
(Selling cars, selling cars, or passed out in bars, you'd be better off trolling through bars!)

Prospective Craig's List suitor, I really liked your post
You seem to have a clue here, you didn't seem to boast
Then we talked for hours, you sounded awful sweet
I could like you! I think we should meet!
Suitor: Dating on Craig's List - it isn't that way
I didn't want a girlfriend, just a roll in the hay
Believing my posting - what's that all about?
I paid for dinner, you put out!
(You put out, you put out, that's what it's about, if you want to see me you'll put out!)

Oh, costly Dr. Headshrink, whatever's wrong with me?
The guys I meet on Craig's List aren't what they claim to be
I've had a dozen dates now, and nothing ever works
I'm not THAT bad, could they all be jerks?
Doctor: Dating on Craig's List, it isn't that bad
In any group of men you'll find a couple of cads
You can't be so picky when dealing with men
Dust yourself off and try again!
(Try again, and again, 'cause they're only men, if you want a boyfriend, try again!)

Dear kindly judge, Your Honor, I need a man restrained
The fellow's off his rocker, he'll never be retrained
He started getting scary, I told him "Take a walk",
I said, "See ya!", now I'm being stalked!
Judge: Dating on Craig's List? You're not very bright!
If they were decent they would not be online all night
They're surfing the Web for a quick piece of a**
You want a nice guy? Go to Mass!
(Go to Mass, go to Mass, for a guy with class, if you want a nice guy, go to Mass!)

His issue is psychosis - he's crazy when he drinks
His issue is hygienic - he has bad breath and stinks
His issue is he's married, and has someone at home
Buddy, I've got issues of my own!
Dating on Craig's List, I think that I'm through
I think that I should look for something better to do
Weeding out wack-jobs is too big a chore
Ain't dating on Craig's List no more!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Pacing is very, very important in this one...blew it a couple times there. If I were you, I'd rewrite this--make it more general about how hard it is to get a date. Second verse was really cute. :) Change the Dr. Headshrink into a Pushy Mother, maybe? Ass/mass was one of many clever lines.
Cat - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Genius! Love the OS, you did it proud.
Johnny D - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Bravo, Ravyn! Well done!

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