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Song Parodies -> "One Ton Tomato"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Trini Lopez

Parody Song Title:

"One Ton Tomato"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

Once again, this is NOT - REPEAT NOT - about my wife. Old Lady Ribber does not weigh more than me...anymore. I've chosen to pattern this after the Trini Lopez rendition, which is a little more accessible. ;D

One ton tomato,
My gal's a one ton tomato.
Just watch my legs bow,
She is a one ton tomato.

My "little woman" is quite large,
That's why she is the one in charge.
She wears the pants all of the time
'Cause she cannot squeeze into mine.
She is the woman of my dream
But she can make our poor scale scream.

One ton tomato,
A giant sack of potato!
I swear that it's so,
She is a one ton tomato.

My love and life we always share
'Though she has broken every chair.
But off to judgment I'll not rush
Because on me she has a "crush".
For on the beach she is such fun,
Her shade protects me from the sun.

One ton tomato,
A tankcar load of Clamato.
Lucky I am though,
She is a one ton tomato.

(Spoken over instrumental chorus)
I am a sincere man from the land of tobacco and coal.
I wish I could share her with you - there is enough for all of us.
I love it when we just sit around because when she sits around the house -
WAIT! There are lines to which even I won't stoop!

One ton tomato,
You ought to see her gyrate, oh!
My hernias grow,
I love my one ton tomato!

This is going to be BIG! ;D

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rex - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
When I saw the title sub I though it was gonna be a takeoff on the Smothers Brothers bit. Fave lines: "crush" and "WAIT! There are lines to which even I won't stoop!". Great work from one of AIR's heavyweights.
Mark Scotti - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice job on a "weighty" subject!
Andria - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job here, and I was wondering when someone would turn "Guantanamera" to "One Ton Tomato". Too bad "Guantanamo Bay" won't pace to this OS. 555 gallon jugs to place the juice of this one-ton tomato in.
2Eagle - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
This reminds me of the beefsteak tomatos which can only be found at the Burbank farmer's market.
Warren Baker - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Inspired! A new fave from you, OMR. Here are 555 pounds of produce for you.
masonr - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Lots of LOL lines here. Great job, but suddenly I feel like having a salad...555.
Phil Nelson - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
I remember hearing an original song with this title on Dr. Demento. This was really different though and hilariouis! 555
Fiddlegirl - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
She's "juicy"!! ;D 555
Christie Marie M - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Nicely executed parody, OMR! And great use of the OS for a cleverly misheard title. I concur with Andria on converting "Guantanamera" to "One Ton Tomato". Works perfectly together! Also enjoyed the "crush" line in your song! It's all good! Here's some humongous 555's....worth of lycopene!

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