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Song Parodies -> "My Sphincter's Alone Now"

Original Song Title:

"I Think We're Alone Now"

Original Performer:

Tommy James and the Shondells

Parody Song Title:

"My Sphincter's Alone Now"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

If I ever stop doing proctology parodies, you'll know I've reached that magical age where it's NO LAUGHING MATTER. Not yet, though. Plus I stole a rhyme or two from an earlier song of mine.
Patient disrobe -- That's what they tell me at the doctor's
One quick little pro-obe -- before I knew
it he was
Shovin' his whole arm up my can!
Down in never never ever land!
Tryin to find that place, deep in your soul
Where you feel your fellow man and you say
MOMMY that is cold
Then suddenly

My sphincter's alone now
Doesn't seem to be anyone insi-ide
My sphincter's alone now
Everything intact but my manly pri-ide

Oh doc behave -- that's what I say as I bend over
Spelunking my ca-ave -- I don't often do
When sober
Shovin' his whole arm up my can!
Hopes to shake my large intestine's hand!
Tryin' to find a place, deep in the hole
Where the gerbils and the hamsters and the
Monkeys do not go
Then finally

My sphincter's alone now
Doesn't seem to be anyone in there-ere
My sphincter's alone now
Also there ain't no one yankin' on my hair-air

My sphincter's alone now
Not expecting an-y more company
My sphincter's alone now
Don't need anybody else humpin' me

Plumbing in my ass with his hand!
Hopes to get to know my prostate gland!
Tryin' to get a date, for Friday night
Then he puts his arms inside me just to
Double all the fun
Then suddenly

My sphincter's alone now
No one usin' me just to warm their pa-alms
My sphincter's alone now
Wristwatch left inside is my only qua-alm
(etc....)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   21
 19
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Joelle - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Hopes to get to know my prostate gland! Tryin' to get a date, for Friday night Great line! But there's much more than that that deserves 5's! This was a great parody!
Johnny D - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Yikes...but I gotta admit it's funny....I've done my share of proctology parodies (not this one, though). 5's
John Barry - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I am prostate [sic] with laughter.
MrMacphisto - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL... good luck avoiding an aoid assault for this one...
Michael Pacholek - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Holy s---! (Almost literally.) If I ever do a sequel to "The Reckoning of These Song Titles," this one will have to be cited. Nice job, Multiple Simians! I'll butt out now.
Claude Prez - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks you all
alvin rhodes - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
i was doing Ok, till i got to the "hopes to shake my large intestine's hand" line...then i dissolved into an apoplexy of giggles...too funny
Spaff.com - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Dude. That's all I can say about how much awesome stuff you've put out lately. DUDE.

And the second verse gives a whole new meaning to "a room full of monkeys."
Adagio - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM Funny!! 5's
Guy - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was ASStounding. Er ass-pounding or whatever. Gives a painful new meaning to the term laughing one's ass off. Fibers.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever rhyming, and a really hands-on approach.
Ash - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM - wow. I'm like doubled over here
Kristof Robertson - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Tee hee hee h..argghhhh!! 555
Agrimorfee - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I got a message from your doc, Claude...Says he's missing his wristwatch and you should call him ASAP.
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Thought I had already commented on this one, apparently not, laughing from the title on in.
Melhi - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ow, Ow, OW!!! If your can hurt half as bad as my sides are hurting, now... I feel sorry for you!!!
Claude Prez - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the comments everybody.
Arwen - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--"everything in tact but my manly pride!" Excellent!
Stuart McArthur - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) wristwatches, hamsters, gerbils, what else have you got up there - sounds like Grand Central - nice and disgusting, Claude! :-)
martha - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
ooohh ouch!!! very funny 5s (SOTM)
Johnny D - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Peregrin - November 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I'll vote 5's now
Dee Range - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM... Laughed my ass off...canceled my prostate exam lol...high 5's, very funny lines everywhere
Spaff.com - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Dude. What Spaff said. MOMMY this is cold.
John Jenkins - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I feel your pain ... but I also appreciate all of the great lines, particularly the spelunking line.
2nz - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I still think the Doctor should at least by you dinner first. Hilarious, Claude.
Meriadoc - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was definitely a LOL one!
Paul Robinson - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - Youch! Not a reach to say this is "sphinctacular"...5's...
Jeff Reuben - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thought I commented on this one earlier, I liked it a lot. I've been...behind in my comments.

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