Mail is here, the mail is here
Wonderful snail mail just like yesteryear
It’s a wonder that we got it all here
Wondering why that’s true, don’t you? Course you do!
‘Cause our pitbull Milo’s security
Which scares the postman complete-eh-ly

When our dog barks a tune, this dear old man will swoon
Meet our petrified postman, Willie Park!
Every weekday near 3, Milo runs through our yard scot free
And he petrifies Postman Willie Park

If he hears some growling
Poor Willie will try to hide
It drives Willie so nuts
He runs to the other side!

The parcels come in right
But the dude's turning white
Yes it’s Petrified Postman Willie Park

In our fair city
There is much hilarity
When dogs go near Poor Willie
What a shame
Shows no masculinity
He’s scared to infinity
Of all variety of canine breed names
He even puts up a brouhaha
When he encounters a Chihuahua

So this Monday come see
The mail delivery
And watch Petrified Postman Willie Park
You can watch him mewl as our Milo spits drool
On poor Petrified Postman Willie Park
You should have seen his last major embarrassment
When he got his pants filled by his own excrement!

You'll see nothing like this again
Unless you watch some pro wrestlin'
You might start a-cringe’n’
When you see him start snivelin’
It’s Petrified Postman Willie Park!