She put whiskey in my bottle
Vodka in my tea
She had me mixin' cocktails when I was three
We weren't the soberest branches on the fam'ly tree
Mama ain't too bright, and I got A.D.D.

Mama poured me full of rum
Mama poured me full of rum
Is that the reason I'm dumb, HUH???

(glug glug glug glug, glug glug glug glug)

Open up a bottle
We don't need no stinkin' glass
Just tilt it back and chug it
'Till ya fall right on yer ass

And that cigarette you're lightin'
Just might blow us straight to Hell
Don't you throw the match down, Bubba
Careful of the still

Mama poured me full of rum
Mama poured me full of rum
She said, "It cured you suckin' yer thumb, son
It cured you suckin' yer thumb, son"

(glug glug glug glug, glug glug glug glug)

This headache's sure a bastard
Somethin's knockin' in my skull
It's tastin' like my mouth's just
Been crapped in by a gull

I had so many drinks
I fell face down on the floor
Don't know where I is
But I sure been here before

Mama poured me, mama poured me, mama poured me
Poured me, poured me

That ain't the reason I'm dumb, no yea yea
Mama poured me fulla rum
Mama, mama, mama told me
"It cured you suckin' yer thumb, son

It ain't the reason you're dumb, no
Yer dad's an ignorant bum, son
That is the reason you're dumb, yea
Would you quit suckin' yer thumb, son?"

(fade as I pass out slowly)