What did he see in her, a cur?
Could be his mind was out to lunch, I have a hunch -
What made him think she was the girl, his honeybunch?
Why did he wed Heather?

If he had modest means, barely a dime,
The ladies would be lining up, they wouldn't mind,
They'd rather have that man, so very fine -
He didn't need Heather.

No one knows whatever he saw in her,
A mystery -
There were dollar signs in her eyes for sure,
Love's history.

They were the groom and bride and bride and groom,
The wedding party tossing rice, and honeymoon -
A love nest where the roses bloom and wither soon -
He got scammed by Heather.

What possessed him to take a horseface like her,
To be his wife?
Did she promise she would keep him for sure,
For all her life?

And now it's mom and dad and dad and mom,
And baby making three, the time had come,
To get her piece of pie, a hefty sum -
Unhappy with Heather - O bla di bla da bla di bla da bla di bla da...

And now some funny judge says he must pay,
A hefty million sum, no other way,
If that's the last of her, that'll be the day -
He's not rid of Heather.

Unhappy with Heather
Not birds of a feather
But he's stuck with Heather
Thru all kinds of weather
He's tied to a teather
He's not rid of Heather
Unhappy with Heather - O bla di bla da bla di bla da bla di bla da